The Herione Series: An End to Begin
by Artzielady94
Summary: Aleria Cousland slays the Archdemon but she has many more demons to face...(Love, Laughs, and a whole lot of Drama!) ****Chapter 5 is now up! *** AlistairxfCouslandxNate
1. An end to begin

******Thank you for reading! From this point on I'm taking the story in my own direction…hope you like it! Also a HUGE thank you to my Beta and pretty much writing mentor Acherubis! You're amazing! Please enjoy and all comments are welcome!***********

White hot heat, then nothing.

No fear. No pain. It's was all erased in a single blast. Aleria's eyes opened. She was lying on her back in what smelled like a field of wildflowers. She rose and looked around. Why did this place look so familiar? Poppies, like on the coasts of Highever. She smiled as she remembered laying in a field like this in her younger days. Her thoughts drifted to things of the past, her wonderful family, her friends, and her first love. She mused in the comfort of happy memories but soon was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Pup?"

Aleria's stomach fluttered as she snapped her head around in the direction the voice was coming from.

She stared at the man for a moment, completely dumbfounded.

"Papa?!" She clamored her way to him as fast her body would let her and fell into his arms.

"Is it really you? Where's mother? Is she well? I've missed you so! I had the most terrible dream!"

Bryce Cousland laughed as he patted her head. "I have missed you as well, my darling. Everyone is fine and they send their love." His face suddenly turned sad, he did not relish what he had to tell her. "Pup, you were not dreaming."

Aleria looked at him confused ...then flashes of reality came flooding into her mind and she remembered...

Marching to Denerium, fighting to the top of Fort Drakon, coming face to face with the Archdemon…

She focused on the swirling thoughts in her head.

Then she saw it: The dragon had been badly injured, but so had most everyone else. Sticky, warm blood poured from a wound in Aleria's right side. She ripped a piece of cloth from her tunic and pressed it on the wound to slow the bleeding. She heard the dragon shriek in pain, then saw Alistair hack at its front leg, bringing it to its knees. She knew she didn't have much time.

"Wynne!" Aleria shouted frantically, "Paralyze him! Move him back and keep him there! Now!"

Wynne nodded. She had told her this might be a possibility and she reluctantly agreed for the good of Fereldon. Aleria watched with a heavy heart as Alistair was knocked back away from the archdemon and frozen in place. She quickly ran to him and locked eyes on him. She knew he would be angry but in case the ritual didn't work this is how it had to be. She reached up and touched his blood covered face.

"Please forgive me. If I never see you again, know that I love you with everything I am, and I meant it when I said I would die for you."

A tear slipped down Alistair's frozen cheek as she planted one last kiss on his lips. She took a deep breath as she ran head long for the ArchDemon, cut through a genlock and snatching his long sword as she passed. Then, in one quick movement, she slid beneath the belly of the beast and sliced it from neck to chest, flaying it open. The dragon shrieked in pain, thrashing about, flailing its massive wings, almost crushing her in the process. She feverishly scrambled away from the dying dragon, away from its sharp claws and equally sharp jaws that snapped at her in a last, desperate attempt to take her down with it. The mammoth body only missed her by a few inches when it finally collapsed on the blood-spattered roof. After a moment of gathering her breath, Aleria walked up to the head of the beast and positioned her sword to pierce its skull then slammed the blade deep.

Immediately, a powerful force began pressing against her. She shook violently as her body was rocked by the tremendous force passing through her. She seized and could not let go of the sword. She could not scream though the pain was immense, then finally a surge of power hit her like a bomb. _White hot heat._

Aleria looked up teary eyed at her father. "I'm dead aren't I?" she whispered.

"No pup, you are teetering between the fade and life." He responded sadly.

"Oh, so...will you wait here with me until my body decides whether or not I'm dead?"  
she asked.

Bryce half smiled at her. "Actually pup, The Maker has sent me here to give you a choice. You can stay here and be united with us or you may go back."

Aleria's eyes grew wide. "What? The Maker sent you and He's giving me a choice? Wow that's new."  
she quipped.

Bryce chuckled. "You are more special than you know. The Maker made it known to me that if you stay, many lives will be lost; but if you go, many lives will be saved. Darling, if you return your life will not become any easier, living will still be hard." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know this is not an easy decision, pup."

Aleria considered for a moment, she knew what she had to do." As much as I would love to see you all and spend time with you again...I cannot be selfish. Tell the Maker I will return." She said with much difficulty.

Bryce smiled broadly. "That's my fierce girl. I'm so proud of you." He wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Now before you go there is someone else who wishes to speak with you." He kissed her forehead. "I love you my dearest daughter and I will continue to watch over you."

"I love you." She whispered quietly as her she watched her father disappear.

Aleria sat back down in the field of flowers and enjoyed the warmth that radiated all around her. She wondered to herself who could want to speak with her. Duncan? Or, Maker it could be Fergus...she had always hoped that somehow he had survived. Her thoughts swirled in her mind as she laid there.

"A copper for your thoughts?" a sultry voice whispered above. She opened her eyes slowly and focused on the man standing above her. His hair was down and lay in soft waves across his bronzed shoulders. Aleria jumped to her feet. "Zevran? What are you doing here? Are you unconscious as well?"  
Zevran chuckled sadly. "No mi amora."

Aleria's countenance dropped dramatically and tears welled up and spilled over. "No..no you're not dead. You're not. You can't be. I'm dreaming...I have to be. Please, Zevran tell me this is a nightmare!" She cried frantically. Zevran grabbed her and pulled her tightly to him.

"I'm afraid I cannot, my dear." he stroked her hair gently.

"I, I'm sorry Zevran. I should have taken you with me! I should have protected you! I should have..."  
Aleria cried into his shoulder.

"Shh...You could have done nothing but gotten yourself killed as well. I am not angry, actually quite the opposite." He smiled softly at her.

"Zevran, I'm going to miss you so much...I don't know what I'm going to do without you..." she sobbed

Zevran tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "You will live and live well. You will find someone who will be as loyal to you as I am, who loves you as I do, and is an even better lover than I am...well that may be setting the bar a little too high." He smirked at her.

Aleria chuckled. "You are...wonderful. Thank you for absolutely everything you've done for me."

"No mi amora, thank you for setting me free." Zevran kissed her passionately.

"Will you stay with me for a while?" She asked hopeful.

"I will stay as long as you are here." He kissed her again. "Ah, this…this is what I will miss. I'm afraid you have ruined me my dear." He joked as he stoked her hair away from her tear stained face. "I'm afraid I am jealous of the next man who warms you bed." He smiled at her sadly.

"That will not happen for a long time, if ever." She sighed.

"It would be quite a shame to have a body like yours be put on a shelf and not enjoyed." He purred in her ear.

Aleria blushed and leaned in to kiss him but before she reached him she felt an excruciating pain in her side. She yelped and grabbed her stomach.

"Zevran, what's happening? Ah!" she screamed as another sharp pain hit her.

"You are being pulled back." he said sadly. "This is where we say goodbye." Zevran kissed her quickly. "Te Amo always, Aleria."

"Zev..." She grasped him tightly but it was to no avail. She gasped as she felt herself being ripped from the fade and slammed back to earth.

As she opened her eyes she heard a mixture of voices all around her. One in particular stood out above the rest.

"Don't you dare die on me, Aleria Cousland!"

It was Alistair and she was moving. She looked around and realized that she was in Alistair's arms being carried somewhere. Her eyes tried to focus but everything was a blur of stone walls and blood. She tried to speak but realized her mouth was full of something. She recognized the copper twinge as she coughed and gagged on what she realized was her own blood.

"Aleria, please hang on. Please. Maker, Wynne, can you stop the bleeding?"

Wynne's voice magically appeared and it sounded frightened. "I can slow the flow but until we find a place for her to lie I cannot begin working on her wounds."

It was then that she heard Leliana scream. "Andraste have mercy, is she alive?" She felt soft hands brush the hair from her face.

"Yes, but we must get her inside quickly. She's bleeding out." Aleria heard Alistair's voice ring in fear.

At those words Aleria felt herself sinking into darkness. An eternity seemed to pass before she was jolted awake, feeling Alistair's mouth on hers. But this was no kiss, he was breathing life back into her.

"Breathe for me, Ali." He pleaded desperately with her. He looked so tired. Aleria tried to comply with his wishes as she inhaled deeply then slipped into darkness again.

* * *

When Aleria awoke again, she was in a lavish room covered in all the finery you would expect of a royal palace. She tried to rise up but soon realized that was going to be harder than usual.

She twisted slightly trying to raise herself from her lying position. With great effort and quite a bit of pain she finally situated herself into an upright position. She looked around the empty room. There was a fireplace against the wall and in front of it laid a bundle of recently washed rags and more empty jars of healing poultices than she could count.

_Was that all for me? _She asked herself as she slowly pulled the blanket from her body. She looked herself over and gasped. There were more bandages than skin showing. Even her breasts had been wrapped up tightly. As she looked herself over in awe, she heard a click and saw the door slowly open. Leliana walked in, carrying new bandages and a couple more healing poultices.

She glanced in Aleria direction and did a double take.

"Hey Leli." Aleria said hoarsely.

Leliana locked watery eyes on her as she flew to her side.

"Ali, Thank you, blessed Andraste! I was so frightened you weren't going to wake up this time. It was horrible. Your body was..." she prattled off frantically.

"Shh." Aleria quieted her. "I'm ok. How long have I been like this?"

Leliana thought for a moment. "Two weeks tomorrow." Leliana replied exhaustedly. Aleria nodded.

"Leliana, where is Zevran?" Aleria asked cautiously.

Leliana bit her lip as she considered her answer. "He is...he is..." she began but Aleria interrupted.

"Then it wasn't a dream. He's gone isn't he?" Aleria said as soft tears began to roll down her cheeks. Aleria's insides began to quake.

"How did you know?" Leliana gasped surprise, tears streaming down her cheeks.

" He was in the fade with me." Aleria said cautiously. Anyone else would think she was insane, but she knew Leliana would understand.

Leliana looked at her in awe. "Really? How was he?"

Aleria smiled sadly. "He was the most beautiful I have ever seen him. He seemed so at peace, the only time he seemed sad was when we were forced to say our goodbyes."

Leliana held her hand and gently stroked it. "At least you got to see him one last time."

"Yes..."Aleria smiled softly then changed the subject. "Leli, how is everyone else?"

Leliana smiled. "Everyone else is quite well. But if you are wondering after someone in particular..."

"Leli, don't patronize me, I'm injured." Aleria said pointedly.

Leliana scrunched her face. "Apart from being worried out of his mind while pretending to be indifferent, Alistair is fine. He is quite aggravated as well for what you did; I'd be prepared for an intense lecture."

"Has he been crowned yet?" Aleria asked.

"Yes, he tried to hold off the coronation as long as he could but the nobles were getting restless." Leliana replied.

"I understand how they can be. It's probably best I wasn't there anyway. He is going to have to learn to do things on his own eventually." she shrugged and hissed through her teeth. "Ok, note to self, no shrugging for a while."

Leliana smiled. "I think it was very brave of you to spare Alistair's this pain. You still love him very much don't you?" she said sadly. Aleria nodded solemnly.

"It's not something I can just stop...no matter how hurt or angry I am at him... I can't stop. Does that make me a masochist?" Aleria asked with a half laugh.

Leliana laughed with her. "Possibly..." She sighed and leaned her head against Aleria." it's so good to hear your voice again. We've all been going mad around here without you. Promise to never fight a dragon and almost die again, ok? I don't think I could handle it."

Aleria chuckled slightly, enjoying her friends affection. "I'll try, but no promises."

Leliana shook her head and was about to speak when the chamber door creaked open once more. A tall man with dark brown hair and warm but tired eyes walked in carrying a plate of food.

"Leliana, how is she doing?" He asked absent mindedly as he placed the tray on a nearby table.

Aleria's heart leapt in her chest as she nearly screamed at the man. "Fergus!?"

His head snapped quickly in her direction. "Little sister..." He choked out, tears welling up in his eyes. Aleria fought her bandages as she tried to get to him, injuries be damned, she had to touch him, to make sure he was really there.

"Woah! Hold on there, pup, I'm here." he quickly crossed the room and took Leliana's place beside her.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and they cried together, for their loved ones and for each other. She had always hoped that somehow he had survived. She marveled at the rang of emotions that had flooded her heart in such a short time. Her best friend was dead but her big brother was alive. She hugged him tightly and sobbed into his shoulder. "Fergus, I'm so sorry about Orianna and Oren. I didn't know until I found them. And mother and father, it was horrible! I thought I'd never see you again." she collapsed into his arms.

"I'm alright, pup. It will be alright. I know you did your best and I'm so proud of you. Who knew my little sister was this Hero of Fereldon everyone keeps going on about?" He sniffed as he nudged her. "You have always been such a show off." he joked through his tears.

Aleria laughed. "Says the one who jumped off the Sea Cliffs just to get Lady Braylen's attentions!" she poked at him.

"Hey, it worked didn't it?" He smirked at her.

"Only because when you came back up you were missing your trousers!"She argued with him.

"Who says that wasn't the plan?" he winked at her. "But speaking of attentions, I met our new king. He seems to think very highly of you, sister..." he said suspiciously. Aleria's heart dropped.

"Fergus, don't even start..." she held a hand up to him.

"What? I just find it interesting that the new King of Fereldon is hopelessly in love with my baby sister." Fergus smirked beguilingly at her.

"Did he say that?" Aleria asked confused.

"No, he didn't have to in between his admiration and worry for you, it was painfully obvious." Fergus chuckled. "Do you not reciprocate his feelings?" he asked suddenly serious.

"Fergus, I really don't want to talk about this." She said exasperatedly.

"Fine but don't think this is the end of this conversation." He said tapping a finger on her nose. "I'm so happy you are alright but you need much more rest. I will see you in a little while." He kissed her forehead. "I love you, pup."

Aleria smiled. "I love you."

Leliana joined in. "I will leave you as well. Fergus, would you mind joining me in the dining hall for dinner?" She smiled sweetly at him.

Fergus cleared his throat. "Erm...of course my lady." He gave a half bow, Leliana giggled then kissed Aleria on the forehead.

Aleria only shook her head. As they left, she began to wonder if Alistair would come to see her or if he would stay away. She was torn between wanting to see him and wanting to smack him. _Why does he have to be so bloody transparent?_ She growled in frustration. This was going to be hard enough as it was without Fergus digging up what she was trying so hard to bury. Aleria knew that as soon as Fergus got wind of her and Alistair's relationship and how said relationship ended, things would go from bad to worse. She groaned again as she closed her eyes tried to go back to sleep.

* * *

A couple of hours later she awoke with a start, the Archdemon's roar echoing in her mind. She sat up quickly from her bed, reaching for a dagger she realized was not by her side. She heard the roar again and realized it was no ArchDemon, it was her stomach. She moaned as she tried to make her way up from the bed. Her wounds seemed to be mostly superficial with the exception of a large gash on her torso and a couple of holes in her leg and arms. She slowly made her way to the chamber door and tried to silently push it open. She knew Leliana would kill her for getting out of bed but she was starving and knew she would never sleep with her stomach mimicking an archdemon's roar.

She peered down the hall, checking to make sure she wouldn't be caught. When she was sure the coast was clear she made her way to the Kitchen. A dim candle lit the room, giving it a warm glow. She grabbed and extra candlestick as she made her way into the larder. She loaded a tray with some fruits, cheeses, dried meat, and some sweet cakes. Her stomach rumbled again. "Sh.." She said peering down at her obviously ravenous stomach.

"What are you doing down here?" Aleria jumped at the sound of the man's voice. _Blast it. _She had been caught. She slowly turned around and laid her eyes a very aggravated Alistair.

"Eating?" Aleria said innocently. "I have been unconscious for two weeks; I believe I have some catching up to do." She quipped.

Alistair's expression only softened slightly. "Do you know how badly you were injured? You shouldn't be walking around like this. You could have rang for one of the servants." He said frustrated.

Aleria clenched her jaw. Who was he to tell her anything, and did he just say ring for servants?

"I made it down here just fine and I'll make it back just as easily. I don't need any servants and I don't need you telling me what I should and should not do." She snapped at him.

Alistair's face regained its harshness as his jaw clenched.

"Of course no one tells the mighty Aleria Cousland what to do!" Alistair said sarcastically. "You do what you want no matter who you hurt in the process..." he said pointedly.

"What!? What gives you the right to say that? Who do you think you are!?" she nearly screamed at him. She slammed the plate on a nearby table and turned to leave. She should have know he would not let her go so easily. He strode up to her and turned her around to face him.

"I'll tell you who I am. I'm the man who watched you be nearly obliterated in front of his eyes. The man who carried your broken body and watched the hearts of people who love you, shatter like glass. I'm the man who stayed by your side until I knew you would pull through. I'm the man who..." Alistair pressed.

"Why do you even care?!" Aleria shouted at him as she snatched her arm away from him, retreating back a few steps. Alistair threw his hands up in frustration.

"I'm sick of this, Aleria! Let me enlighten you, just because I know we can't be together doesn't stop me from wanting it to be that way! Ending our relationship didn't stop me from being in love with you and it sure as the void didn't change the fact that watching you sacrifice yourself nearly ripped my soul from my body." He paced as he continued his speech, Aleria looked on dumbfoundedly.

"Do you not understand how much I still want you?" He stopped pacing and made his way closer to her. Aleria couldn't move, she couldn't breathe.

"I want you, desperately, but how can I have you? Tell me a solution and I will gladly bring you to my chambers and claim you as mine." Alistair raised his hand to place it on her cheek, Aleria shivered at the impeding touch; but before he could light his hand upon her he withdrew it.

"But I know until we find that solution...I'll have to stand here and love you from a distance. No matter how hard it is not to take you into my arms right now." He whispered, his voice dripping with desperation.

Aleria gulped. She could do nothing but stare at him. The tension in the room had become so thick you could cut it with a broad sword. She and Alistair just stared at each other.

Alistair sighed and ran his fingers through his hair exasperatedly.

"To the void with it..." He breathed as he crossed the distance between them and threaded his hands in Aleria hair, pulling her into a deep kiss. Aleria gasped and melded into his embrace. His touch was desperate but gentle as he pulled her closer. Aleria kissed him back as tears slid down her cheeks. This wasn't right, this needed to stop. As much as it shattered her heart she couldn't let this continue.

She placed her hands on Alistair's chest and pushed away from him. "We have to stop doing this to each other." She locked her eyes on his.

"What?" Alistair retreated, hurt underlying his voice.

"This...torturing each**-**other." She placed a hand on his face. She gulped as she tried to find the right words.

"I love you but you're right. We cannot be together unless I can bare you a child. End of story." She kept her eyes locked on his as painful tears rolled over her cheeks. She cleared her throat and tried to compose herself. "I would like to ask a favor of the King and of the Senior Grey Warden of Fereldon."

Alistair pulled away from her. "For saving Fereldon and its King I shall grant you whatever you wish." he responded seriously.

"I would like to be granted temporary leave from the Wardens until I am needed again. I want to go back to Highever with my brother and help him rebuild. If a desperate situation arises I will return but if not I will be allowed to stay as long as need be. Does this please his majesty?" She said gently.

Alistair considered her for a moment then replied hesitantly. "I agree…on the condition that the new Teyrn and his sister appear at Court when called. The King may need your assistance from time to time." Alistair conceded.

Aleria smiled half heartedly. "Thank you, your highness. We will be leaving tomorrow." She replied.

"Tomorrow?" Alistair said despondently.

"I believe that would be for the best." Aleria replied resolutely.

Alistair retreated from her. "Alright, I suppose I'll see you off in the morning then?" Alistair asked hopefully.

"Yes. Goodnight, Alistair." Aleria bowed slightly and painstakingly made her way back to her room. She passed by the food she had left lying on the table. This had most assuredly ruined her appetite.

"Goodnight, Ali" Alistair whispered forlornly.

* * *

Aleria woke before daybreak and made her way into her brother's room.

"Fergus..." she whispered lightly shaking him.

"Hmm?" He groaned then noticed her presence. "Ali! What are you doing out of bed?!" he scolded her.

"I'm fine. Well enough to travel. Fergus, let's go home. I want to go home." she pleaded with him.

"What? Why the hurry? You've just woken up from a coma. You need more rest." Fergus tried to convince her.

"You know that makes absolutely no sense. I've had plenty of rest. May we depart at daybreak?" Aleria pressed.

"This about your King Alistair isn't it?" Fergus grunted. Aleria narrowed her eyes at him. "Ali I'm tired not stupid. Something is going on. Tell me." He rose up to focus on her.

Aleria sighed. "I'll make you a deal; as soon as we are on the road to home I will tell you the whole story."

Fergus groaned. "You're not going to change your mind about this are you?" Aleria shook her head.

"Fine, fine I'm up. I don't have anything to pack anyway. Go get your things and I will arrange transportation." Fergus said half heart-idly.

"No need. All you have to do is meet me outside as soon as you're ready. I'm going to talk to Leli, I think she may want to join us. I'll see you in a bit." she kissed his forehead and left to find Leliana.

As Aleria had guessed, Leliana wanted to tag along with them to Highever. Everything and everyone was ready to go so Aleria made her way to the courtyard where the horses should have been waiting for her. Instead there was a lavish carriage filled with gifts and treasures of every kind. Aleria's brows crumpled in confusion. She walked up to the driver of the carriage.

"I'm sorry, Ser, I did not request this. Please bring me the horses I asked for."

"I'm sorry, my lady. I'm on direct orders from the King." he motioned for her to turn around.

Aleria turned quickly and saw Alistair standing at the top of the stairs wearing golden full plate armor and a matching golden crown. Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in the vision of him. He looked every bit the part of the Noble King, handsome and heroic to the core. She chuckled ruefully. When she was young, she used to pretend she was introduced to a handsome prince and whisked off to be his future Queen. She smiled as she remembered something Zevran use to say: 'Fate indeed is a tricky whore.' _It is indeed, Zevran. _

As she approached Alistair, he held his hand up in defense. "Please don't be angry with me. I just don't think your body is up to making that trip on horseback just yet. Please just smile and except this..." he said defensively.

Aleria smiled softly and nodded. "Thank you for your kindness, your majesty."

Alistair smiled, slightly taken aback. "Who are you and what have you done with Aleria?"

Aleria only shrugged and winced slightly. The pain in her side made her realize this was not a bad idea. "You were probably right about riding horseback."

"Alright, now you're scaring me. I'm right about something?" He joked.

"I guess it's that new crown of yours, there must be wisdom ingrained into it." She joked as she reached up to straighten the slightly crooked crown.

Alistair stiffened not even allowing himself to breathe for fear that he would lose control and kiss her.

At that moment Fergus and Leliana rounded the corner. Fergus couldn't help but notice the longing in the young King's eyes and he immediately slipped into big brother mode.

"Little Sister, are you ready to go?" Fergus said, interrupting Alistair's stare.

Aleria smiled slightly and shook her head. "Yes brother, I'm ready if you are."

Leliana wrapped Alistair in a tight embrace and whispered something in his ear. His eyes widened in shock as he looked at her. She simply smiled and nodded to him. He smiled enigmatically and kissed her on the cheek. The Cousland siblings shared a glance of confusion before Fergus approached Alistair.

"Thank you, your Majesty, for all you have done for my family and for my sister. I believe you will be a great king and a great friend to us as well. If you need anything at all do not hesitate to send for us. I know how these nobles can be." Fergus smiled warmly at Alistair.

"Thank you, Teyrn Cousland, but please call me Alistair. And believe me, your sister has done more for me than I could ever repay. Take care of her." He clasped Fergus' arm in a warrior's handshake.

"Call me Fergus, and I will. Farewell."

Fergus bowed and headed towards the carriage leaving Aleria and Alistair alone.

Alistair shuffled his feet nervously. "So this is it..."

Aleria nodded softly. "Yes, time to say goodbye" She purposefully focused her attention on the carriage rather than the handsome king staining beside her. She thought back on how far they had come. She would have never pictured it ending this way. She resigned herself to stay strong, not only for herself but for him as well.

Alistair interrupted her thoughts. "Goodbye for now." he reinforced. "Your brother just said to send anytime I need you..."

Aleria interrupted. "Try not to need me for a while. Please?"

"But," Alistair started.

"Sh. No buts. You are going to be an amazing king, you don't need me." Aleria replied with deep sincerity. "Now," she whispered shakily, "Give me a hug and tell me goodbye."

Alistair didn't waste a moment as he grabbed Aleria and pulled her into a tight embrace. She melded into his arms one last time. She breathed him in, committing everything about him to memory.

Alistair kissed the top of her head. "I going to miss you...Who am I kidding, I miss you already and you haven't even left yet." he laughed sadly.

Aleria smiled half heartedly as she pulled away. "Soon you'll be so busy with Nobles, politics, and marriage proposals; you won't even have time to think about me."

Alistair huffed a laugh and ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't remind me."

They both stood there for an awkward moment before Aleria finally threw her arms around Alistair's neck.

"Goodbye Alistair." She whispered in his ear, choking back tears. She squeezed him tightly, then quickly released and ran headlong for the carriage, not daring to look back.

She slid into the carriage next to Leliana. "Driver, we're ready to leave." she yelled and her voice cracked.

Leliana laid a hand on Aleria's fidgeting hands. "Ali, are you alright?"

Aleria looked up at her through teary eyelashes and shook her head no. Leliana opened her arms as Aleria fell into her lap and cried herself breathless.

"Ali, Maker, what's..." Fergus began as he reached out to comfort her.

Leliana placed a finger to her lips and silenced him. "She will tell you when she's ready, Fergus." Leliana smiled sadly.

Fergus looked at her frustartedly, then turned to look for the offender who brought his baby sister to tears. As the carriage departed he got a glance of Alistair and was surprised to see the tears streaming down the young kings face.

Fergus sat quietly and let his mind wander as he watched his little sister cry herself to sleep.  
When he was sure Aleria could not hear him he addressed Leliana.

"Leliana, what did you say to King Alistair earlier?"

Leliana smiled softly as she stroked Aleria's hair. "I told him not to give up, that the Maker would help us find a way."

"A way for what?" Fergus asked her a little too loudly.

Leliana shushed him. "A way for them to be together." she said with a smile.


	2. An issue with your family

**Hello all! Welcome to chapter 2! Thank you so much for reading! And as always a HUGE Thank you to Acherubis! Comments would be great! :D I'm excited to be taking this story in a different direction...I hope you like it!**

* * *

It had been six months and Aleria was thankful she had not heard from Alistair directly since she left; though Her big brother retrieved letters from him from time to time asking advice or checking on the reconstruction. Fergus would respond in kind but hid the fact that he was slightly miffed after Aleria finally spilled the details of her and Alistair's relationship. He understood the young king's reasoning but the big brother inside him hated seeing his little sister in pain.

The days passed for her easily enough; she had a never ending supply of things to divert her attention. It was the nighttime that was the most difficult for her. Her nightmares of demons and dragons were replaced by heart wrenching memories left behind by the man she was still in love with.

It was into the wee hours of the morning and Aleria couldn't sleep. As hard as she tried she could not picture anything in her mind besides his gentle eyes and that adorable half**-**smirk of his. Frustrated, she gave up on sleeping and went to her Father's study hoping to find something to busy herself with. Aleria sifted through lists, requests, training schedules for the new recruits to the Highever guard and had to admit that she was looking forward to having people to spare with; it had been hard training alone for the past couple of months.

She thought back to when she and Alistair would train together. He would say that it was important for them to fight as a team, as an extension of each other, so when they weren't fighting darkspawn they fought each other. Aleria smiled to herself as she mused over the first time they had spared together…

_ "You've got to be kidding me!" Aleria shouted in frustration. She had just bounced off Alistair's shield and was laying flat on her back, dripping with sweat._

_ "You're smaller than me. You can't go charging in like you're a wild bronto." He reasoned with her. "You're fast. Use that to your advantage. Now, get up and try again." He said with a sadistic grin._

_ Aleria sighed and rolled up off the ground. She paced around him for a moment looking for a weak spot in his defense. Alistair eyed her with a confident half__**-**__smirk plastered on his face. Aleria shook her head then charged in trying to rely on her speed as he had said. She struck, he parried, then BAM she was shield bashed again. Aleria stared up at him from her position on the ground._

_ "I swear to you, I do actually know how to fight." She sighed exasperated. Alistair huffed a laugh. _

_ "I know." He reached a hand out to her. "You're form is perfect it's just, let me explain it this way. Lay your weapon down." He dropped his sword and shield. Aleria looked at him confused._

_ "Um, unarmed combat is not my strong suit, plus you're a beast…how am I suppose to…?"._

_ " Just listen a minute." Alistair interrupted her. "You're a noble right?" _

_ Aleria nodded. _

_ "Alright, then I'm sure you were trained in every dance known to Thedas." He continued. _

_Aleria shook her head skeptically wondering where in the void he was going with this. _

_"Think of fighting as a dance." _

_Aleria stifled a laugh._

_"A dance? You..dance?" She poked at him. Alistar pursed his lips._

_"Just be quiet. I'm trying to teach you something…" He huffed at her. _

_"Now when I move, you move, when I strike, you move, you strike…Like this." He took a step forward with his right leg causing her to step back with her left. _

_"See? Now move and react to my strikes." He swung his fist to her left side, she swerved, making his fist miss its mark. He then brought his arm around in a backhanded motion; she bent backwards then spun to face him. _

_"Good." He smiled at her. Aleria felt a slight rush of adrenalin pump into her veins. He struck, she moved, she stuck, he moved and so the dance began. Their moves quickened as they fell into a rhythm with each other. Aleria's heart was racing as she attacked him with everything she had. The dance began to take a broader range as they moved about the open terrain. Aleria was so focused on the movement that she did not notice the tree root sticking up from the ground. As she stepped to evade Alistair's strike the root caught her boot and sent her tumbling backwards. Before she hit the ground she felt strong arms wrap around her waist catching her a inch before her face smashed into the dirt. She breathed a sigh of gratitude._

_"You would think a Noble Lady would be more graceful." He chuckled as he pulled her up on her feet._

_"There are very rarely tree roots on a ballroom floor." She quipped__**,**__ noticing Alistair had not taken his hands off her waist._

_"Excuses." He smirked at her, then realizing where his hands were, his face turned a light shade of pink and he snatched his hands away as if she was on fire. He stepped away from her and ran his fingers through his hair. _

_"I__**…**__ uh, think that's enough practice for now. We should go..um..get some rest." _

Aleira's musing was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Excuse me, Lady Cousland, there is a letter for you. It bares the royal seal." The servant said nervously. Aleria's stomach flipped as she reached out pensively for the letter.

"Thank you, where is Teyrn Cousland?" She addressed the servant, eyes unwavering from the letter in her hand.

"The Teyrn is in the gardens. Should I fetch him for you?"

Aleria nodded**,** then waited anxiously for the servant to leave before she proceeded to slice the letter open. As she unfolded it**,** Alistair's familiar sent filled the room. She swiftly read over the contents of the correspondence.

_Lady Aleria,_

_An issue has been brought to me concerning you and your family and I must request that you and Teyrn Cousland be present so that this issue may be resolved. _

_King Alistair Theirin_

Aleria stared at the piece of paper for what seemed like an eternity.

_An issue concerning you and your family? _

Aleria read it twenty times over.

_What in the Maker's name…? _

Aleria jumped from her seat and ran into the hallway to look for Fergus. In her frenzy, she almost collided with him as she descended the stairs, as she was descending the stairs.

"Woah, little sister**,** where's the fire?" He said grabbing her shoulders.

Aleria pushed the letter in his face. "What in the void does this mean?"

Fergus took the letter from her**,** then cocked an eyebrow. "An issue with you and your family?" he said befuddled.

"Why is he being so bloody vague?" Aleria questioned**,** becoming even more agitated.

Fergus shook his head. "He could have been afraid the letter would be intercepted." He shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose we should start packing." He said nonchalantly, handing the letter back to her. Aleria stood there for a moment with her mouth agape before quickly following behind him.

"Brother, something doesn't feel right about this." Aleria pushed.

Her turned and smirked at her. "Are you sure it's not because the letter was strictly formal and didn't mention anything about..." Before he could finish, Aleria punched him hard in the arm.

"Fergus**,** don't start." He rubbed his arm in mock pain.

"Seriously Ali, you're going to have to see him and I don't want you to be hurt. Please guard your emotions. If he makes you cry again it will be my duty as a brother to pummel him, King or no." He said completely serious. Aleria rolled her eyes.

"It's been six months, I'm sure he's forgotten all about me anyway." She said stubbornly. _If he hasn't he should, shouldn't he? I mean, it's over or at least it should be. I wonder…_

"And if he has? If he's betrothed? How will you handle that?" Fergus asked seriously**,** interrupting her thoughts. Aleria's smirked wickedly.

"Before or after I stab him?" Fergus shot her a disapproving look.

"Oh lighten up**,** brother, I was kidding. I'll be fine." She tried to convince herself. "Though I wish Leliana hadn't decided to go back to Haven for Maker knows how long."

Fergus sighed. "You're not the only one." Aleria's jaw dropped as a sly smirk crept across her face.

"Oh, I knew it! You**,** dear brother**,** are smitten!" she poked at him.

"I wouldn't say that, it's just she's been a great friend to you and I've come to appreciate her very much." Fergus explained feigning innocence.

"Uh-uh, sure…" She taunted him. She knew he was not ready to truly move on yet but she hoped that one day his heart would mend. She also had a feeling that if anyone could mend it, it would be Leliana.

Fergus snarled his lip at her; she in turn waggled her tongue at him.

"Very attractive**,** little sister," He scoffed at her. "_You_ need to remember to be a lady; we _are _going to be back at court soon." He poked her. Aleria sighed and hung her head in resignation.

"I suppose I will go to my room and pack then." She breathed in disgust, while reluctantly heading back upstairs. Fergus chuckled slightly at her childish behavior.

"Now that's a good little sister, if you hurry I'll make sure the cook packs some of your favorite snacks for the trip." He patronized her. "Oh and pack that green dress of yours!" Fergus yelled after her as she rounded the corner.

Aleria hesitated then shouted back to him. "Why?"

Fergus smirked. "Just do as your big brother asks for once..."

The trip to Denerium, though uneventful**,** seemed much longer than usual. Aleria fidgeted nervously then entire had been so long but she still wondered and she wondered what was going to happen when she and Alistair saw each other again. The girl inside her heart secretly wished for an epically romantic reunion, like the kind she use to read about when she was a child; but the battle hardened woman in her head knew that was only something that happened in story books. Nonetheless, the thought of seeing him again made her so nervous she could barely concentrate on anything else. Poor Fergus tried from time to time to have a conversation with her but soon realized his efforts were utterly futile.

"There it is, Denerium." Fergus finally observed, snapping Aleria out of her wonderings. Suddenly she felt as if she may vomit. _Sweet Maker, you're going to have to help me get through this. _She prayed silently.

"Ali, are you alright? You look a little pale." Fergus pulled his horse next to hers.

"I'm fine. Let's just get this over with." She said exasperatedly. Fergus gave her a concerned look.

"Are you sure?"

Aleria nodded. She knew perfectly well that her brother did not believe her for a second but to her utter relief, he let it be and instead shrugged his shoulders.

"Lead the way, Sister." He said following in behind her.

As she and Fergus entered the city gates**,** Aleria felt as if all eyes were on her. She began to get a little antsy as they made their way through the city streets.

"Fergus!" She whispered loudly**,** waving him closer. He leaned in as close as he could while remaining on his horse.

"Why is everyone staring at me? Do I have something on my face?" She asked fretfully. Fergus gave her a confused look then began laughing.

"Aleria, you saved them all. You are the Hero of Fereldon. People are writing stories and legends about you. They are admiring you…or**,** you know, they're frightened of you." he joked. At that moment a group a children came running up to her horse shouting along the way.

"It's the Hero! Look! She's here! Hero, Hero!"

Aleria stopped her horse and looked down at them. "Every person who fought that battle should be called a hero." She said modestly.

"But, but, you killed the dra-dragon, right miss?" A little one stuttered up at her.

Aleria smiled down at him. "Yes, but it was with the help of all my friends, including the great King Alistair. He injured the dragon so I could kill it easily." The children stared up at her in awe, and then from the crowd she heard a shout.

"Long live the Hero of Fereldon!" followed by uproarious applause and cheering. Aleria glanced over at Fergus who smiled broadly and joined in the clapping as well. She blushed fiercely as they made their way through the crowd**,** smiling and waving to all she passed. When she reached the castle gates**,** she was met by a cheerful Arl Eamon.

"My lady, it is a pleasure to see you again. You as well Fergus my boy. I trust your trip was a pleasant one?" He asked courteously.

Aleria nodded politely.

"I'm sure you are ready for a rest but the King has requested to see you immediately. If you would please follow me."

The siblings followed in behind the Arl. Aleria stayed close to her brother as they entered the throne room. He was like her rock in the storm that was about to take place. When she saw Alistair from across the room**,** she swore in her head. _Curse the bloody Maker, how could he have gotten even more attractive? _The man she beheld looked like Alistair but with all the strength and grace of someone who was bred for _leadership. _She did not know what Eamon had done to achieve this is such a short time but she was nonetheless astounded.

Aleria tried to reign in her shock buy placin the mask of nobility over her features. She straightened her posture and threaded her arm through Fergus's. He patted her hand and smiled warmly at her.

As she came into Alistair's view she watched in as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Fergus smirked as he whispered to her**:**

"Aren't you glad I told you to pack the green dress?"

Aleria smiled beguilingly.

"Thank you, dear brother."

Alistair made his way to meet them, as he walked he seemed to slip on a mask all his own. He smiled to them courteously. It wasn't the boyish grin Aleria was used to, which made her wonder what else about him may have changed up to now.

"Welcome Teyrn Cousland! It's so good to see you again." They clasped arms. "You as well Lady Aleria." He said**,** barely making eye contact with her. Aleria felt a slight pang at the obvious lack of attention. _Fine, if that's how you are going to be…_She curtsied and replied curtly.

"Thank you**,** your Majesty, but if I may be frank, we would like to return home as soon as possible so if we could handle this business quickly, I would be very grateful." She said**,** making eye contact with him. She saw a flash of hurt in his eyes before it was replaced with aggravation.

"As you wish, my lady, I will have the prisoner brought here immediately…" Alistair stated indifferently, which frustrated Aleria to no end.

"Prisoner?!" both Fergus and Aleria nearly shouted.

"Wait, Alistair, I mean, you highness. Who is this prisoner and what does it have to do with us?" Aleria questioned him. She suddenly became very nervous.

"I was going to explain the situation in private but you seemed so adamant about rushing this along…" He balked. Aleria sighed; she knew her smart mouth had just bitten her in the arse.

"I'm sorry if I offended his majesty. Please accepted my apology, it's just…"Alistair waved her off.

"It's fine. Follow me, I will fill you in as we walk. I've tried to keep this quiet until you were able to come here, thus the vagueness of the letter I sent you."

Aleria and Fergus shared a glance as they followed Alistair into the dungeons.

Once they reached the final corridor Alistair stopped and turned to them both. "As you know, I gave the Warden**'**s Vigil's Keep so that they may begin rebuilding a Fereldon compound. About two weeks ago**,** they caught a thief sneaking into the Fort. They said he took down six men before they were able to contain him."

"What does this have to do with us?" Fergus asked curiously.

Alistair spoke cautiously. "When he was questioned he said he was there looking for the Hero of Fereldon…and that he wanted to kill him."

"Him?" She asked confused.

"I don't think he knew who he was coming to kill." The king replied.

"Then why did he want to kill me?" She questioned. He sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders as if to brace her.

"He wanted revenge…for the murder of his Father."

Aleria's eyes widened in realization. She slid from Alistair arms and ran headlong into the room where the prisoner was being held.

"Aleria, wait!" Fergus yelled after her.

As she guardedly approached the cell door**,** she mentally prepared herself for what she was going to find. She peered past the bars of the cell and found herself staring into an achingly familiar pair of piercing gray eyes.

_Nate._

Aleria stood there not able to move as memories of this man**'s** face flooded her mind. The handsome smile she remembered had been replaced by a fearsome scowl. His hair was longer but still jet black and pulled from his face by two small braids. His sharp nose looked like it had been broken and reset but he still had the appearance of the boy she desperately pined after years ago. As she took a closer look, she realized he was no longer a boy, he was a battle hardened man who's intense gaze was frightening her slightly. Aleria opened her mouth to speak but she stopped when she felt Fergus's presence behind her.

"Alistair, open the cell**,** please." Fergus said his voice bare of any emotion.

Alistair nodded as he cautiously opened the cell door. The prisoner did not move as Fergus entered the cell. Then as quick as lightning Aleria's brother slammed his fist into Nathanial's face.

Aleria gasped. "Fergus!"

Howe did not strike him back, he only stared at him. Fergus hit him again, this time bringing him to his knees.

Aleria screamed at him. "Brother, stop!"

He ignored her as he got eye to eye with his ex best friend.

"You were my comrade and my blood brother, and you betrayed me!" He punched him again. "Your father's men raped my wife and slit my son's throat! They killed my family and destroyed my home, and you…you come here to take what little I have left?"

He slammed him into the wall. "Well Howe, I have some news for you, you will not touch my sister! Not while I am still breathing!" He pressed his forearm into Nathanial throat**,** cutting off his air supply. Aleria stepped behind him and tried to pull him off.

"Fergus, he's not fighting back! Stop it, Fergus!" She screamed at him.

Alistair took this opportunity to step in. He stepped behind Fergus and pulled him off Nathanial, speaking calmly.

"Teryn Cousland, I think you should take a moment to compose yourself." Aleria looked at him with a thankful half smile.

"Give me a few moments with him please, Alistair." Alistair looked at her warily.

"Forgive me but I'd rather not leave you alone with the man who wants to kill you." He said seriously.

"I will be fine. Just give me a few minutes. Take care of Fergus." She pleaded with him.

Alistair finally conceded after a moment and left her alone with her murderous ex-fiancé. Aleria had thought a thousand times about what she would say if she ever saw Nathanial again but standing in front of him right here, right now she couldn't find a single word to say. It was Nathanial who broke the silence first.

"Now look at that. I expected the Hero of Ferelden to be a ten feet tall brute of a man with lightning shooting from his eyes. And what do I findinstead?A five seven, spoiled princess, whom I taught to shoot a bow in the first place**,**" he chuckled ruefully.

Aleria fumed at his words. "I'm not the same girl you left in Highever, Nathanial. I was forced to grow up quickly...I'm sure you know as to why." she insinuated.

"My father killed your family because they were traitors! And you killed him for doing his duty. Nate spat at her. "You're a murderer..."

"What?!" Aleria shouted back at him, hurt and disbelieving. "How could you believe that? You knew us, are you that blind or just stupid!?" Nathaniel's muscles coiled and in a the blink of an eye, he had her pinned against the wall.

"I would not say such things if were you, my lady." He spat inches away from her face.

"Nate." she whispered**,** locking eyes with him.

Nathanial's harsh stare didn't waver.

"You killed my father. " He whispered harshly, tightening his grip all the more. Aleria shuddered with the idea of him calling her a murderer.

_I'm not a murderer._

"_He_ murdered my _entire_ family apart from Fergus. He would have killed me too if not for a Grey Warden..." She paused holding his gaze.

His grip loosened but he still kept her pressed firmly against the wall. Intense silence passed between them, she was waiting.

After what seemed like forever**,** Nathanial broke the silence.

"Aleria, I..." He started but before he could finish he was ripped brutally off of her. Aleria looked up to see Alistair standing in front of her with pure raged focused at Nathanial. He then threw him back in the cell and slammed the door.

"Fergus is not the only one you'll have to go through to hurt her. Don't you dare ever touch her again or I will personally rip your arms from their sockets." Alistair said with deadly calm. He then turned to Aleria.

"Did he hurt you?" He looked her over, checking for injuries. Aleria pushed his hands off of her.

"He wasn't going to hurt me." She said slightly defensive.

"What? Aleria, he had you pinned to the wall. He admitted to wanting to kill you…are you truly that naïve?" He pressed. Aleria sighed and locked her jaw in dissent.

"No, I just know he wouldn't do it." Aleria argued with him. Nathanial huffed.

"Has becoming a Hero really made you so cocky? How do you know I wouldn't kill you where you stand?" Aleria grabbed hold of the cell bars.

"Because I know you**,**" she said**,** becoming frustrated with him. Nathaniel flew to the cell bars and stood inches away from her face.

"How can you be so sure of who I am? As far as you know, the man you knew could have died in the free matches and yet you stand here close enough that I could snap your neck. You know I have a motive, what else do I have to lose? For your sake you should listen to that over-protective King if of yours." He hissed at her. Aleria took a deep breath and gritted her teeth.

"You don't scare me**,** Nathaniel, and you won't convince me to give up on you so easily. So you stop the threatening speeches and evil scowls. They don't suit you." She condescended to him.

Nathaniel's face deadpanned.

"Aleria, please join me in the hall**,**" Alistair demanded more than asked. Aleria rolled her eyes and headed towards the hallway leaving Nathanial to stew in his cell. The young King followed her and as soon as they were away from the cell**,** he spun her around to face him.

"What is going on with you? Do you want to be killed or are you just insane?" Heshouted at her.

"As you can see I'm just fine, my over**-**protective King**,**" she mocked Nathanial's words.

"What was I suppose to do? You were pinned there by a man who has admitted to wanting to kill you!?" he yelled exasperatedly,

"Did you forget that I am a Grey Warden and that I've killed more than I can keep count of? Do you really doubt my skill so much?!" She was begining to get frustrated with him. Had he really forgotten that they had fought a blight together?

"Well, he's a man and you're a woman...I just thought..." he stuttered, then stopped mid sentence realizing his mistake. Aleria growled in frustration. She was determined to put him in his place this time.

"Pin me against the wall." She demanded.

"What?" Alistair choked out.

"Pin me against the wall." She repeated emphasizing the words one by one.

Alistair looked at her like she was insane then hesitantly complied.

"Ok..." Alistair pressed her against the wall gently and took a deep breath.

Aleria shot him an exasperated look. Did the dress she was wearing really make her look like such a delicate flower? _Maker's breath!_

"Seriously**,** Alistair, has Royal life made you soft?" She taunted at him. "Do it right."

Alistair growled and pushed her harder against the wall. Aleria's heart began to race at the feeling of his body against hers. Her heart began thumping like a war drum in her chest. _Stop it._ She commanded herself. _You're trying to make a point. _

"Tighten you grip**,**" she ordered him. Alistair did as he was told. Though seeing the look in his eyes made her confidence waver slightly. His eyes had darkened slightly and were so mesmerizing.

"Good," She said a little less sure of what she was doing. "This is how he had me pinned against the wall, correct?" Alistair nodded awkwardly.

Aleria smirked as she reached her arms up and slammed her elbows into the crook of his arms promoting her quick release. She then braced herself against the wall and kicked him in the chest knocking him to the floor. As quick as an arrow from a bowstring**,** she was on top of him with a dagger she had concealed in her breast band. Alistair starred up at her with both surprise and mirth twinkling in his eyes. He smirked at her. He once again looked like the Alistair she knew and she grinned mischievously at him.

"Don't ever doubt me again or I'll be forced to remind you who I am**,**" She said as she playfully pointed the blade at him. Alistair grinned and cocked an eyebrow.

"I believe you have forgotten who I am as well**,**" He then twisted his hips sharply throwing her off balance. While she was distracted he grabbed the wrist holding the dagger and slammed it to the ground as he turned her hips completely over**,** reversing their position. She writhed beneath him**,** trying to regain control of her hand. After a moment she stopped her futile struggle. Aleria shook her head.

"I could never forget**,**" She breathed avoiding his gaze.

Alistair's smirk fell from his face. Aleria cursed herself. _Stupid__**!**__ Why did you say that? Maker's breath__**,**__ Ali, why didn__**'**__t you just tell him how pathetic you are and beg him to take you back? Idiot.  
_  
Alistair didn't move from his position

He only stared down at her with an intensel look on his face. _Great, as if this isn't awkward enough. Maker, if you have any compassion at all, get me out of this._As she uttered the words in her mind she heard a familiar voice shouting at them.

"What in Andraste's name is happening here?!" Fergus yelled. She almost let out a laugh_. It worked? Thank you__**,**__ Maker!_ She thought momentarily relieved.

Then realized it was Fergus. _Sod it._

Alistair clumsily removed himself from atop her and yanked her up of the floor like a rag doll.

"This isn't what it looks like..." Alistair started.

"Pray tell**,** Your Highness. How did you happen upon being on top of my baby sister?" He said snarkily.

Alistair looked a bit pale. "Well, I was**… **and then she..."

Fergus interrupted. "Excuse me? Are you trying to besmirch my sister's honor by saying she started this?"

Aleria held back a snort. King or no, Alistair was no match for Fergus when he was on his big brother high horse. Alistair fought to regain his composure.

"No**,** of course not...I just..." He made eye contact with Aleria**,** wearing a look that said, _please help me._Aleria nodded and stepped in front of Alistair.

"Fergus, it really was an accident and I..."

"And you!" Fergus interrupted her. She took a step back. "How dare you take a Howe's side over your own flesh and blood!" he shouted at her.

"Fergus, did you not notice he was not fighting you. No matter what his father did, he's still Nate. Don't you see it?" she pleaded with him.

Fergus turned his head from her. She placed her hand on his shoulder and made him face her.

"I know you just want someone to focus your anger and resentment on...but the man at fault is dead...and Nate**…** Nate has never been his father and deep down you know I'm right."

Fergus gritted his teeth and pulled away from her. "Fine. Do as you deem fit with him. I'm washing my hands of responsibility." He stormed away**,** leaving her standing there. Aleria felt badly for her brother.

She knew his heart was broken in so many ways and it would take time for it to heal. She sighed and turned to Alistair who was smiling softly at her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked him nervously.

"You just never cease to amaze me**,**" He laughed to himself and ran his fingers through his hair. Aleria blushed slightly.

"So...what would you like to do about this?"

Aleria thought about it for a moment but couldn't think of an answer. "Can I sleep on it and give you my decision tomorrow? I know what I want to do but i'm not sure how to go about it. Does that makesense?"

Alistair nodded. "May I show you to the guest quarters, then?"

"Yes please, it's been a long and eventful day. I'd like to retire for the evening**.**" She smiled softly at him.

"And... if I may ask a favor of you?" She said as sweetly as she could manage. Alistair cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm almost afraid to ask..." He quipped sarcastically. She wrinkled her nose at him.

"Can you look out for Fergus tonight? I know he's going to want to drink and I'd feel better if he were with you...if it isn't too much of an imposition." Alistair smiled at her.

"Now that I can do. Plus maybe I can get some juicy childhood tales of the young rambunctious Aleria Cousland**,**" He said mischievously.

"I'm not worried. I was a picture of perfection as a child**,**" She smirked.

"Oh Sure you were. I'll make sure to ask Fergus later when he's three sheets to the wind**,**" Alistair chuckled. Amidst their banter they arrived in front of the door to her quarters. She smiled gratefully at the young King.

"I really do appreciate you doing this for me and I'm sorry you were brought into my family drama. I'm sure you have better things to do than deal with this sort of thing**.**" Aleria said as she made her way to the door.

"It's no problem, really. I'm happy to be there for you…and I know that Nathanial is…Well, I know it's complicated between you two." He shuffled his feet awkwardly. Aleria's stomach fluttered.

_Is he jealous? _She thought to herself but dismissed it as wishful thinking.

"To say the least**,**" Aleria agreed then let out a yawn. "I think it's time for me to retire for the night, thank you again**,**" She said awkwardly as she fumbled for the door knob.

"You know I'd do anything for you**,**" He replied without thinking**,** taking a step towards her. Aleria's stomach flipped again, as the tension from before filled the room like smoke, thick and stifling. She struggled with what exactly she should say to that but luckily her hand finally found the doorknob and with a quick turn she disappeared behind the door and whispered through the open crack**,**

"Good night, Alistair."

Embarrassment flashed over his features for a moment but was quickly followed by a forced smile.

"Yes, I should**…** uh**…** go find Fergus, for drinking and all that. Good night, Ali**.**" He said as Aleria closed the door behind him.

Aleria breathed a huge sigh of frustration before throwing herself face first on the bed. _Fergus, Alistair, and now Nate__**…**__ as if things weren't complicated enough._ She let out a muffled scream into her pillow. _No, I refuse to think of all that right now_. She turned herself over and prayed that sleep would bring her at least a little of the peace of mind she so desperately needed.


	3. A past beginning

***** Thanks for taking the time to read this! It's a Mini Chapter but it's been sitting on my computer for far too long! I hope you enjoy this little memory! :D As always thanks to my Beta ****Acherubis****, if you haven't read her stuff you should. Reviews encouraged!*****

The streets of Highever were crowed that night and the atmosphere was jubilant as the people celebrated the end of the annual Highever Tournament. Aleria took in everyone's merry making as she made her way to the local pub where she was to meet Fergus and their family friend Nathaniel. She thought back to earlier in the day.

She had always wished to fight in her family's tournament but she never dreamed she would actually win and by default at that. Part of her felt slighted by Lord Vaughn's resignation but nonetheless she was happy. She shuddered at the thought of rewarding that pig of a man with a kiss. _Bleh!_

She was not far from the pub when she heard some kind of commotion coming from an alleyway.

"We**'**ll look here, if it isn't the Lady Cousland."

Aleria found herself standing not far away from a slightly intoxicated Lord Vaughn who bowed mockingly at her.

"Good evening, Lord Vaughn. It seems as if you've already started celebrating**,**" She said unimpressed.

"Celebrating what? My forfeit? You know good and well that I deserved that prize." He stepped towards her aggressively. "I think for the embarrassment you caused me I deserve a bit more than that**,** actually." Aleria's stomach turned.

"If you would have had the balls to actually fight me, then you would understand that you don't deserve a thing**,**" She condescended to him.

"You are an arrogant bitch, you know that?" He took another step closer to her. Aleria's skin began to crawl.

"I'm warning you. If you take another step…" Vaughn did not stop. The only weapon she had on her was a small dagger strapped to her left boot.

She pulled the skirt of her dress up frantically; _Of course I'd have to be wearing a Maker forsaken dress._ _Thanks Mother._

Before she could get the dagger completely unsheathed Vaughn slammed her hard against the stone wall of the ally. Aleria gasped as the wind flew from her lungs. Vaughn straightened her up against the wall**,** making her face him. She lifted her boot and stretched trying to reach the handle of her blade asVaughn smirked at her cruelly.

"Well**,** that was easy. Looks like I've won. Should I claim my prize now?" Aleria turned her face from him.

His breath on her neck made her feel as if she was going to hurl. She squirmed in his arms as he grabbed her chin, turning it so that she had to look at him again.

"Stop fighting, you know you're going to like it." He forcefully pressed his lips to hers and shoved his tongue into her mouth. Aleria gagged**,** then did the only thing she could think to do. She bit down hard on his tongue, drawing blood into her mouth. Vaughn screamed in pain as he withdrew from her. She used that moment of freedom to reach the dagger in her boot.

As she turned to face Vaughn, he body checked her into the wall again. She pulled her weapon up hoping to stab him but he was much stronger than her. He caught her wrist and smashed it against the wall until the dagger fell unwillingly from her hands. Panic began welling up inside of her.

"You stupid little whore, I was trying to make this more enjoyable for the both of us but I guess you prefer it rough. I'm happy to oblige…" He backhanded her across her face sending her to the ground. Aleria bit back a cry that tried to escape her lips as pain rocketed through her face. She felt disoriented and nauseous as she was yanked from the ground and pressed back against the wall. She had never been struck that way before and reality was sinking in, this wasn't a sparing completion or training, this was real and she was really in trouble.

Vaughn pressed his forearm to her chest pinning her down as he pulled a knife from his belt. Aleria fought madly against him to no avail as he drew the blade down the side of her dress starting from her hip, slicing fabric and skin alike. Aleria hissed in pain as she tried to squirm away. He then grabbed the cloth and with one rip, tore it to the hem. Aleria kicked against him but he only pressed his body harder against her. Desperate tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening, her body began to tremble involuntarily as she felt his hand slide inside the slit he had made in her dress. Aleria let out a scream; Vaughn laughed and cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up, I've won and I will have my prize." He grinned wickedly at her before biting her hard on the neck. Aleria whimpered under his assault as hot tears streamed down her face. _This isn't happening. This isn't happening. _

"Hello, Vaughn." A voice said, danger resonating in every syllable. Vaughn stopped abruptly and withdrew. His eyes were brimming with fear.

He released Aleria and turned to face the man whom Aleria now saw was holding a very sharp weapon.

"Oh, hey Howe...I was just, you know, having fun with her, playing around." He studdered. "Harmless fun, really." Nathaniel's eyebrow arched.

"Fun?" He asked then directed his attention toward Aleria. "Excuse me, Lady Cousland, Were you having fun?"

Aleira knew he was not truly looking for a response, if he had been he would have seen it written all over her face. Nathaniel gave her a pitiful half smile then turned back to Vaughn.

"It looks as if you were playing with an unwilling participant. I'm afraid play time is over; unless that is you want to play me next." Aleria could see the glint of the dagger and long sword turning in his hands.

Vaughn stuttered again. "No, no. I think I've had enough fun for the night." As he began to walk away with his tail tucked between his legs, Nathaniel caught him by the arm.

"Oh, and Vaughn…" He growled in his ear. "If I see you anywhere near her again, you will lose more than just a tournament." He let go of his arm and stared him down until he was out of sight.

Aleria slowly tried to pull herself from the wall but felt the world spinning around so she stayed where she was. Nathaniel came closer to her wearing a look of deep concern.

"Aleria, are you alright?" He asked her gently.

Aleria struggled internally to get a hold on herself. She bit down hard on her lip**,** willing herself to stop trembling. She nervously readjusted her dress sliding her hand over the slit that had most of the front of her dress open. Nathaniel looked on with mounting concern.

"Hey Aleria, talk to me." He pleaded with her tenderly.

Aleria's breath became ragged as she tried to force the words from her mouth. The reality of what could have just happened was slamming into her like a hurricane.

"He was**…** he almost**…** and I couldn't…" She choked out in broken sobs. Nathaniel placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Aleria, listen to me. You're fine. You're safe and he will never lay a finger on you again. Do you hear me?" Aleria continued to panic as wave after wave of emotion hit her. Nathaniel bent down to look her in the eyes.

"You are going to hyperventilate if you don't calm down." He said soothingly. Aleria focused on his eyes. In their cool gray depths she saw warmth, a steady peace…and it began to envelope her. Her breathing began to slow as her panic ebbed slightly. She was gradually gaining control of herself again.

"Bastard." She breathed.

"What?!" Nathaniel choked out slightly taken aback.

"Not you, Vaughn." She spat. She was angry now and noble or no, Vaughn would pay for this. Nathaniel sighed in relief.

"Let's get you back home, hm?" He politely offered her his arm. Aleria nodded and laced her arm gently through his.

Aleria quietly sorted her thoughts as they walked back to Castle Highever. She wondered what she could have done differently, how she could have prevented or prepared for this. The one thing she was certain of was that she needed more training. She never wanted to feel so helpless again and the sooner she could learn the better. She realized now that not every man was going to treat her with the respect to which she was accustomed and felt naive for believing so. She glanced at the man standing beside her. He could probably show her how to get out of a situation like that, should the need ever occur. She let her eyes rest upon his face for a while longer. She had always thought him handsome but now with the glow of heroism surrounding him**,** she found herself quite in awe. Her heart fluttered as she gawked at him.

From the corner of his eye**,** Nathaniel caught her staring at him. He raised an eyebrow at her curiously.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked half serious. Aleria blushed and quickly shifted her gazed downward, shaking her head no.

"Wait a minute, look at me." He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. Aleria held her breathe.

"Maker Aleria, your face looks horrible." He said tactlessly as he grazed the back of his knuckle across her swollen cheekbone. "Let's stop by the training yard. I know they keep some medical supplies in the equipment building." Aleria nodded sheepishly and followed behind him. Once they had reached the building**,** Nathaniel creaked the door open and fumbled around until he found a lantern. As he lit the oil lamp**,** the flame reflected against the armor and weapons that lined the room**,** sending sparks of light dancing around them. Nathaniel waved Aleria over to a table covered in supplies. He dusted it off and in one swift movement scooped her up and sat her on the table top facing him.

He proceeded to open a jar of Elfroot, dipping two fingers into the milky-white substance and rubbed it between his hands to warm it up.

"Ready?" He asked her before gently applying the fowl smelling remedy on her face. Aleria sucked a hiss through her teeth and Nathaniel chuckled slightly.

"Suck it up Cousland, it's not that bad**,**" He prodded her. Aleria crinkled her forehead in aggravation.

"How about I hit you so you can see how it feels?" she quipped. Nathanial laughed feigning hurt.

"You would think a lady would be much more appreciative of her savior." he half smiled at her. Aleria scoffed at him.

"Oh, so should I start calling you 'my hero' now?" she asked rolling her eyes. Nathaniel gave her a look.

"That's what a lady would do, but then again you don't strike me as that kind of 'Lady'." He said absentmindedly looking over the rest of her for injuries.

Aleria's jaw dropped slightly. She felt a little put off by his statement. What did he mean buy 'That kind of Lady?'

"I have a feeling I should be offended."

Nathaniel looked up at her confused.

"You shouldn't be. All I'm saying is that most ladies don't wield any weapons besides hellacious gossip and torrid stares." He gazed up at her. "There is where you differ and I suppose you could say I find it refreshing." Aleria found herself blushing slightly.

Now, let me see your leg." He said bluntly. Aleria withdrew from him.

"What?!" She squeaked.

He raised an eyebrow at her and pointed to wherethe slit in the dress barley covered her injury.

"You wouldn't want that to get infected, now would you?"

"Oh."

Her leg, of course, he had meant her leg. Embarrassment made her blush. She had almost forgotten about the wound. As she tried to move her dress she winced slightly. The light fabric had become stuck to the dried blood and was now semi fused to her leg. She bit down on her bottom lip as she ripped the caked cloth from her thigh. A fresh stream of blood began dripping down her leg. She situated her dress to retain her modesty and scooted closer to Nathanial. She watched bemused as Nate's demeanor began to change slightly. His confidence seemed to slide into something a bit more focused as he drew a damp rag over the wound. He paused for a moment before applying the Elfroot to her upper thigh. _Is he sweating?_ Aleria became nervous that her injury may have been worse that she thought.

"Is it…alright?" She asked slightly worried at his behavior. Nate cleared his throat and swallowed hard.

"I, um yes. You're fine. I'm mean it's fine." He applied the last of the ointment and fumbled with placing the lid back on the jar.

"Nate." She spoke barely above a whisper.

"Yes?" he said purposefully not making eye contact with her.

"Will you teach me to defend myself?" Aleria pleaded more than asked.

"What?" Nate snapped his attention towards her.

"What I mean is I know how to fight, how to spare, how to duel, but in a situation like that I just…I couldn't defend myself. I need to learn." She hoped desperately he understood. Nathaniel looked her over for a moment then nodded.

"Of course I will." He conceded.

"Really?! Thank you so much. Can we start tonight?" Aleria pressed.

"What? No. Not tonight. I think you've have enough, you need to rest**,**" He chided her.

"No. I need to do this, now**,**" She pressed vehemently.

"Aleria, no. Let's get you back to your room." He took hold of her arm hoping to lead her back to the castle. She jerked away from him. "What's the rush? I promise you we will train tomorrow." He negotiated with her. She stood there as she felt the emotions hitting her again. She had to train, she had to learn, and she needed this. She needed a distraction from the feeling of Vaughn's body pressed against hers and his disgusting breath against her neck. She felt her body beginning to tremble again. Nathaniel had suddenly appeared at her side.

"You think this is going to make you feel better don't you?" He whispered.

"It's just; I can get the feeling of his lips against mine out of my head. I feel him all over me and I can't get away. If I go back, I'll be alone with this feeling and I can't…" She whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.

"You have to take your mind of that. Think of anything else. Better yet, think of your first kiss, think of the best kiss you've ever had. That should chase that demon away." He smiled at her. Aleria's eyes welled up all the more as she turned away from him. Realization passed over Nathaniel's features and he grimaced.

"Shit," he said slapping his palm to his forehead.

"Was that your first kiss?" He asked her bewildered. Aleria nodded as she sobbed into her hands refusing to make eye contact with him. He turned her around and tilted her head up to meet his gaze.

"Listen to me, that wasn't your first kiss. Did you kiss him back?" Aleria shook her no.

"Exactly, a real kiss takes two willing participants." He stroked her hair from her tear stained face. "You're first kiss is going to be soft and sweet and by a man who thinks you're the most beautiful girl in all of Thedas." He rubbed her cheek gently. Aleria let a slight smile cross her lips as Nate stood there a moment longer holding her gaze. He swallowed hard again and began sliding his hands away from her. Aleria stopped him and steadied his hand against her cheek.

"Nate." She whispered. "Kiss me." It was more of a plea than a demand and her heart stopped in her chest as she awaited his answer.

Nate hesitated for a moment as if he were struggling within himself, but then a mesmeric smile spread across his face as he leaned into her. His lips were nearly touching hers...

* * *

Aleria gasped as she shot up from her bed, clinging tightly to her pillow, she ran her fingers across her lips feeling the slight tingle the memory had left behind. That's the Nathaniel she knew and she was thankful to her subconscious or reminding her who he really is was.

She knew that sleeping was no longer an option, so she decided to make one more trip to the dungeons.


	4. A stiff drink and sentencing

*****Hello All! Let me start by saying thank you for reading! This chapter was a hard one for me! Luckily I have my awesome Beta Acherubis who helps me through all the tough ones! I hope you guys like it and stayed tuned for the chapter after this one…it's another memory…juicy goodness! Thanks again and reviews, critiques, and all that jazz are welcome! Enjoy! *****

_Idiot._

Alistair thought as he stood there a moment longer**,** staring at her bedroom door.

'_I'd do anything for you?' Yes, idiot just about covers it._

Earlier in the day he had thought that he would be perfectly fine. Eamon had drilled him on how to act properly and how to reign in his emotions…but that woman had him tripping all over himself from the beginning.

He thought back to seeing her walk arm in arm with her brother, Maker help him, he thought his head was going to explode. He wondered if he had ever seen her in a dress before that moment… his head screamed a resounding no. He had always thought that leathers were the most flattering thing on the girl…but that dress… that dress slide down every curve, highlighting her every Maker**-**given asset and it was almost too much for him. Then, as if that wasn't torture enough**,** she had to prove some sort of sadistic point and end up on top of him, in a dress, with a dagger pointed at him; which he was embarrassed to say he slightly enjoyed. Andraste's flaming sword, he was only a man after all.

_You're a pervert, and a masochist, and an idiot__**,**_Alistair thought as he headed down the hallway to Fergus' quarters. He really didn't mind that Aleria had asked him to watch out for her big brother tonight because truthfully, he could use a drink himself, and Fergus would be better company than none at all. The young king had been lonely since his friends had left and part of him had hoped to find a friend in the new Teyrn. He was Ali's brother after all and Alistair had gotten along with her from the beginning.

He took a deep breath as he knocked on Fergus's chamber door, wondering if the elder Cousland knew the details of him and Aleria's relationship. Surely she would have at least vented to him, or worse...cried. His mind raced with what she could have told him. Oh maker, what if he thought he had...deflowered her. Alistair was about to lose his nerve when the chamber door swung open.

Fergus acknowledged the young king with a nod.

"Ah, you're majesty. I've been expecting you." Alistair nodded graciously.

"Please, call me Alistair," he smiled. "I was just wondering if I could interest you in a nightcap. Would you like to join me in my study?"

Fergus waved a dismissive hand at Alistair and gestured for him to come in.

"If you have to play the watchdog for me, than you can do that here where the chairs are more comfortable and the eyes and ears less attentive."

Alistair smirked at this; he knew he would like Fergus.

"I'm glad you aren't opposed to my company because to be honest I'm in need of a drink myself."

Fergus raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him; a half smile crossed his face.

"Are you now? Well, that shouldn't surprise me, now should it? My little sister does have that effect on people on occasion. Of course you're welcome. Have a seat."

Alistair nodded and made himself more comfortable.

"I wish I had been able to invite the two if you here under better pretenses."

He felt badly that the only interaction he had had with him over these months were just a few missives here and there.

Fergus poured each of them a glass of brandy, and the smile faded from his lips. Alistair could tell his mind was somewhere else.

"Yes, I would have liked that as well, my friend. We don't always get what we wish for**,** though."

Alistair knew that statement to be true. If he had what he wanted, he and Fergus would be brother-in-laws sharing a drink, rather than the King of Fereldenand the Teyrn of Highever.

Alistair took the glass from Fergus' outstretched hand and replied sadly,"No, we don't, do we?" Alistair stared into the glass for a moment.

"I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I am truly sorry for your loss…I can't imagine…" He drowned the ending of his sentence in the glass of brandy.

Fergus stared into the amber liquid of his own glass.

"No, you can't. But your sympathy is appreciated, my lord. I pray to the Maker that you will never have to suffer the same."

He emptied his own glass and poured them another round. An awkward silence passed between had no idea what to say, this was awkward, sodding Fergus must have felt the tension and changed the subject.

"Anyway," Fergus said, shaking himself out of his miserable thoughts,

"I've heard rumors that you will hold a ball in a week? I bet a lot of the young noble ladies are already around the palace, swooning over you and trying to gain your eye."

He sounded amused. Alistair groaned taking a large gulp of his drink.

" Riiiiiight, I'm really looking forward to that. I'm a bumbling idiot around women... I don't even know how I managed to..."

He stopped mid sentence. He wanted to make reference to Aleria but decided against it.

"…Even speak around them..."

Fergus gave a light chuckle.

"You need to become much more confident, your grace. You're the king. I know that's not easy but you're a bright boy, you'll manage. Don't let yourself be intimidated so easily."

Alistair smiled. "Either you are an excellent kiss up or you are getting drunk quicker than I expected."

Fergus shook his head.

"Neither, I can assure you. But I have been raised to become my father's successor at some point and I know what it means to come and go at court as I please. I know how things work around here. So take my words as well-meant advice."

Alistair nodded again, taking in his words and another swig of his drink. Well meant advice, indeed.

"Have you decided on a bride, yet? Miriam Addlewhite is quite persistent to make you hers."

Fergus smiled over the edge of his glass. Alistair nearly spit out his drink.

"I'm doomed." He whispered eyes wide. Miriam was an old spinster in her forties, at least the size of a walrus and some missing teeth. She had been relentlessly flirting with him at every event Alistair had hosted. At the thought of her he cringed and shivered in disgust.

Fergus laughed loud and hard at that, and Alistair joined in, shaking his head.

"That was a cruel joke, my lord." He sighed.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this...so many trolls… I mean ladies to choose from. And forget falling in love. Eamon says a king can only hope for the love of his country… but how can I settle for that, when I know what it's like to really love someone."

Fergus gave him a long look.

"And he is not that wrong, my lord. To be a good king, your people have to come first. I was told the same. That to be a good Teyrn, the people in my Teyrnir have to be the most important thing. Your father was lucky, he really loved Queen Rowan. Not every king is and maybe you would do good not to hang your hopes too high."

He shook his head. Fergus sounded just like Eamon. The thought of a loveless marriage shook Alistair to his very core and made his feel sick. He had bedded a woman he did not love once before and it made him feel vile and dirty. He swore to himself he would never do that again… but then again, all his promises seemed to be forcibly broken by his subjugation to duty and the crown. He sloshed the liquid around in his glass, getting lost in the warm golden light it reflected.

"Alistair, I know you don't want to hear this," he started carefully after a moment, "but you have to forget about her. She's not meant for a life at court, never was. I want her to be happy and I am sure that is what you want for her too**,** and the royal palace is not a place where she can be that."

Alistair's heart sunk. He knew the young Teyrn was right but he just couldn't get Aleria off of his mind or out of his heart. Why did this have to be so hard? He felt like he needed to explain.

"I hope you know I never meant to hurt her. I love her. And before you reprimand me, I'm trying and have been trying to let go of her...it's just not as easy as everyone is trying to make it sound." Yep, he was well on his way to being drunk...his lips have suddenly become far too loose. "I'm sorry..." He backtracked slightly.

Fergus shook his head with a pitied look on his face.

"Don't be. I do know you didn't mean to hurt her. It's the only reason why you still carry your head on your shoulders and not under your arm. And i know just as well that you love her but you said it yourself. You can hope for the love of your people and not very much more."

Alistair laughed halfheartedly.

"Oh the grandiose life of a King...well there's no going back now is there?" He took one final drink from his glass. "I think on that note I will be retiring for the night. Thank you for your company TeyrnCousland."**.**

Alistair stood and made his way to the door. Fergus did not need to be looked after, if anyone did it was him. A knowing smile played around Fergus' lips as he watched him stand up.

"I make you feel uncomfortable, don't I?"

Alistair turned his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Nooooo... Not at all. You're just a born and raised pure breed noble, whose baby sister's heart I broke. What's there to be uncomfortable with?" he said, every word dripping with deflective sarcasm.

Fergus only laughed slightly. "If I was not a born and raised pure breed noble we wouldn't have this conversation. Because then, you wouldn't have made it to your coronation without a sword sticking out your back. Luckily for you, I understand that it was necessary. You did the right thing and there is nothing you should feel awkward about."

Alistair cocked an eyebrow at the young Teyrn. "You are a violent person behind that noble title..**.**" he smirked at him.

Fergus returned the smirk.

"And you are much smarter than you make people think."

Alistair chuckled slightly. "Tell Eamon that…I swear he thinks' I'm an imbecile. Don't tell him but sometimes when he gets all preachy, I like to see how many times I can say 'what' before he gets raving mad..**.**" He smirked.

There was a mischievous spark in Fergus' eyes and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You're no imbecile, I can assure you that, my lord. A bit... naive, maybe. But you're not stupid. Give it some time and you'll know how things work around here. Use your good senses and you'll do just fine."

Alistair smiled broadly and nodded in agreement.

Fergus gestured at the chair Alistair so hastily abandoned.

"Well, then I think we can get to the fun part now that this is settled. I certainly don't intend to let you leave this room on your own two feet."

Alistair chuckled.

"Now you are speaking my language, first one to pass out has to challenge Aleria to a sparring match tomorrow?" he challenged.

"You're on," Fergus smirked and toasted him with his barely touched glass. he intended to go easy but he had a feeling that getting drunk was exactly what the young king needed right now and it's better for him to do it in a company that wouldn't try to get an advantage out of it.

* * *

It was early into the morning and Aleria's dream of Nathaniel's rescue had pushed her to go see him once more before she decided his fate. She was nervous, anxious, and slightly hopeful. Maybe he had softened some since their first encounter. As she entered the dungeon she saw he was not sleeping, his eyes were glued to the door as if he knew she would be coming back soon. The hefty weight of his seething gaze made her feel uncomfortable.

"I'm to sentence you,"sheblurts out, wanting him to know exactly why she was here and the dire situation he was now in. "I just have a question first…"

He cocked an eyebrow at her mockingly but remained quiet.

"If I let you go...would you try to kill me?" sheasked nervously.

His face deadpanned, then a malicious smirk crossed his lips. "I would not try, I would succeed," he said bitterly.

Aleria's stomach turned as fire rose up in her belly. _How could he say that?_

"When did you become so heartless? It seems as if the Free Marches did what they were intended to. You became hard and cruel, just the way your father wanted you," she patronized him. He was not the man she had been in love with, the man she remembered; maybe that man never existed at all. Before she realized what's happening he bolted off the walland wrapped a calloused hand around her throat.

"Don't you dare speak to me of my father!" he seethed, tightening his hold. "Don't you dare _ever_ mention him again!"

She gasped as she clawed at his unmovable hand, trying to pry his fingers from her throat. It was then she realized that she didn't care anymore. Both of the men she loved left her. Having Nathaniel here, staring at her with such vile hatred mad it all so much more painful. The reality of it hurt too much.

"Do it," she choked as a rebellious tear slipped down her cheek. When he left, she never heard from him again. It had felt as if she had died by his hands then, now she actually would. It was a poetic death indeed.

He hesitated for a moment, confusion flashing over his features for only a second before tightening his grip. She did not fear the black that was slowly engulfing her. There was a peace there…something she hadn't felt in a long time. Before the darkness completely consumed her, flashes of the happiest moments in her life passed before of her eyes. Her family, friends, Alistair…then all faces disappeared into the dark with the exception of Nathaniel's. Of course her mind would come to rest uponhim in her final moments.

The last memory was a moonlit beach, laying in the warm sand with Nathaniel smiling down at her. His jet black hair was soaked and glistening in the silver beams of the moonlight. The look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine and a smile spread across her numbing lips. Such a beautiful memory, she wanted it to stay but the blackness was devouring it as well. Fear and desperation came roaring to the surface, she didn't want him to leave, and she was desperate to keep her Nathaniel there. With the last of her strength she grabbed him by his neck and crushed his lips to hers in a violent, desperate, kiss.

He pushed her away, shocked, sizzling, and with a look in his eye that she had remembered seeing before…desire. She hit her knees and gasped for air, sucking it forcefully back into her deprived lungs.

"What are you playing at? Do you think to confuse me with your cheap tricks? Sorry to disappoint you, that won't work anymore!" heshouted at her doubt clearly echoing from his voice.

"What would be confusing?" shechoked out**,** rubbing her now bruised neck. "It should be simple, shouldn't it? You want to kill me for killing your father who killed my family." she shrugs. "It's understandable. Why would I hope you had any care for me at all...I was just a dalliance for your pleasure. A pawn in your father's game."

Aleria was rambling but she had so much to say to the bastard who broke her heart and for once she would not hold back.

He turned away from her, and tried to regain his composure. She could see his body stiffen, as guarded as if he were preparing for her to strike.

"Why are you here? Eager to tell me the good news of my appointment with the hangman or have you come to deliver the death blow yourself?" he spat from over his shoulder.

Aleria froze for a moment.

"I am not as heartless as you seem to think I am. You haven't committed any crime that I know of...not yet. So take this chance and leave," she spoke delicately, pain resonating in every syllable.

"I can't forget our history as easily as you have, no matter how badly you've hurt me...I could never bring myself to kill you...so it's your choice," she said the words flippantly but they held so much weight in her heart. She couldn't kill him, she just wanted him to go.

"I will say this though, if you attempt to kill me, Fergus as well as the king will call for your execution."

Saying the words sent a sharp pain through her heart, watching him die was not a option. She had loved him once and it was very real to her, whether or not it was real to him. Another question burned in her heart as she turned to leave.

"Could you have really stood there and watched as the life drained from me?" Her voice was fragile but had a sharp edge to it.

"Would you have been happy if your father killed me too, when he killed the rest of my family? You know his men… you're father's men, raped Oriana before they killed her and Orin, your god child. I sent you a letter when he was born but I'm sure you threw it away with all the others."shespat bitterly.

His back tensed at her words. Had she finally struck a chord with him?

"Let me go or let me die but spare me your lies!" he snapped, not looking at her. "I have nothing to say to you!"

Something inside of Aleria broke. "I am not a liar**,** Nathaniel Howe! How dare you say that to me?! I was there. I saw everything...he killed my parents. He tried to kill me. Blaming it all on Orlais...such bullshit and you know it! My father would never!" shescreamed at him, remembering what she had brought with her.

"And I have proof..." she pulled a stack of letters from her back pocket and threw them on the ground in front of him.

She sees him looking at the letters but he does not move to pick them up. Fury written all over his face as he shouts back at her,

"I don't need your _proof!_ I know what I need to know!"

Aleria gritted her teeth as she let her fury fly at him once more.

"Stubborn ass! You would throw away your life and kill me anyway all because of your pride! Well, damn you and damn your pride! I don't care anymore..."

She turned on her heel to leave, about to fall apart. It was a lie. A very dominate part of her did care and it hurt like the void.

"At least I _have_ a sense of honor! Something that's obviously lost on you and your accursed family!" he threwat her as she reached the door. She stopped in her tracks as fire coursed through her veins. That tore it. She glared at him over her shoulder before she flew at him as quick as a breath and slammed her fist into his jaw knocking him back against the wall.

"And where's your honor, Howe? How honorable was it to spout words of love to bed a girl who believed you then never speak to her again, huh?" She kneed him in the stomach.

"You _never_ loved me…how could you, you sorry son of a…" she didn't realize she was crying.

With a primal growl he sweeps her legs out from under her and pins her down with his full weight.

"Twisting things in our favor again? That's what you always did best, bitch!"

His hand grabs a handful of her hair and pulls her head back forcefully.

"Did my father even see your blade coming or did you stab him in the back as it is your way?" hehissed above her.

"No. He knew I was coming. Unlike him I didn't strike in the dead of night posing to be a friend." She twisted in his grasp and kneed him hard in the kidney sending him rolling to the ground in anguish. She rose and stood above him.

"Liar! Traitorous Orlesian slut!" heforced out through the pain.

She shook her head at him. "One day you'll wake up and realize how wrong you were… and I hope you live a long life, full of regret, haunted by the face of the girl whose virtue you stole and whose heart you obliterated. You are free to go. I never want to see your face again,"shewhispered as leaving him to his misery. She walked into the hallway and braced herself on the wall letting out a sob and cupping her hands over her face. This was supposed to bring her some kind of closure but all it did was open an old wound and she was now slowly bleeding out.


	5. A Past Goodbye

****Hello all! I'm back! This chapter is a flash back with Ali and Nate..I thought it was important to see where they came from to understand where they are now...I hope you enjoy! Thank you as always to my beta and dear friend Archerubis! Would love to hear what you all think, I love your comments and reviews! ****

Aleria was beside herself with excitement as she checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. This had been the longest she and Nathaniel had been apart since their betrothal and these four months were the hardest she had ever had to endure. She smiled into the mirror, appeased with her final look, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear and dabbing some beeswax on her full lips. She missed him desperately and her body ached to be in his arms once more. She reassured herself that as soon as they were not in the company of her family she would give him a kiss he wouldn't soon be able to forget. A giggle bubbled up as she thought about kissing him senseless.

Hearing the sound of horses drawing near brought a broad smile to her lips. In the blink of an eye she was flying downstairs, blowing past her brother who was kissing his now very pregnant wife. She ignored his shouts telling her Nate would be here for the next two weeks, so she shouldn't be in such a rush… but what did he know, he was able to see the love of his life every day and hers had been gone far too long.

Aleria made her way into the grand hall and down to where her parents were waiting, ready to welcome their guests. She brushed the same wild strand of hair from her face and looked up through her lashes at Nathaniel as he entered. Maker, he was so handsome; tall, lithe, and those eyes… Holy Andraste those eyes rendered her absolutely incapable of cohesive thought. It took everything she had not to run head long into his arms. In her excitement she didn't even notice her parents exchanging pleasantries and welcoming the Howes. Her mind was fixed solely on her long lost husband to be. Her happiness faltered slightly when Nathaniel did not smile or even acknowledge her in the least. The look on his face was one of dissention and cold detachment. Something was wrong, very wrong, and it sent a foreboding chill down her spine.

"Hello, young Lord Howe," she said, trying to gain his attention. He looked over in her direction, giving her a nod and a light smile. The smile never reached his eyes, though, and her heart sank. Something was wrong indeed. As their families stood making small talk, she made her way up to him close enough so she could whisper.

"No hi, no hug, nothing? Maker, Nate, you sure know how to make a girl feel missed," she said, deflecting with humor.

He leaned in and gave her a small peck on the cheek before snapping back just as quickly. Aleria followed his apprehensive gaze over to his father who was staring daggers into the two of them. Her stomach began churning for some unknown reason as the foreboding feeling made a home in her heart. She narrowed her gaze at him before putting on a cheerful, angelic façade.

"Father? May Nathaniel escort me to the stables? I think he'd very much appreciate the new stallion you found for me. We will be back in time for dinner this evening," she asked as she pulled her eyes off Nathaniel's father. It was unlikely they would have a chance to talk any time soon, especially since Nate did not give any indication he was eager to do just that but the anxiety that lodged itself in her stomach got ever more prominent by the minute. She needed to find out what was wrong with him.

Her father agreed of course, as did Nathaniel. Questions flooded her mind and heart as they left the company of their families. What had changed? Was there someone else? Was he having second thoughts? Was he just looking for a way to tell her and she was just too stupid and love stuck to take a hint. Merciful Maker, what was happening?

Everything felt tense and awkward, putting Aleria on edge with every step. She couldn't figure out what exactly to say to him. Her patience with him was running short and she soon realized that if she waited for him to speak then no words would ever be uttered. She could no longer take the silence.

"Didn't you miss me at all?" she blurted out. "I have been counting the moments until I would see you again. I haven't slept in days… I just…"

He interrupted her, frustration venting by pulling her into his arms and none too gently sealing her mouth with a heated, needy, desperate kiss.

She sighed in relief and sheer bliss. This is what she wanted, what she had been waiting for. When the kiss ended, she starred up at him and stroked his cheek.

"Maker, Nate, I love you but don't ever scare me like that again."

Before she could finish, he looked down at her with fear and utter heartbreak in his eyes.

"He's sending me away," he blurted out.

Aleria's heart turned to ice in her chest, the cold water pumping through her veins making her shiver. _What did he just say?_

"What?" she exhaled. "Nate, if you are joking I will never forgive you."

She lied. She was _hoping_ he was joking. Desperately clinging to straws of hope that this wasn't true, but she saw the proof in the watery grey depths of his eyes.

She shook her head, trembling.

"No… no, no, no," she stammered in shock. "Why? What happened? And all of a sudden? I don't understand. He can't. We are…"

Her sentences were jumbled as she tried to choke back the tears that threaten to spill any second.

Nathaniel took her in his arms and held her tightly against his chest, stroking her hair and kissing her head affectionately.

"I'm sorry, love, so sorry, I don't want to leave you."

She could hear the weakness and strain in his voice. This was killing him, too. She trembled and gasped for air. Her mind was racing, searching desperately for a solution, something and anything to cling to.

"Where are you going?" she asked hoarsely.

Nathaniel's muscles tensed.

"Father wants me to squire for a friend of his in the Marches," he said emotionlessly.

"The Free Marches?!" She pushed back from him. "Maker, why so far? And how can he agree to our betrothal and just send you away like this?" She was dumbfounded and completely despairing.

He just shook his head avoiding eye contact with her. She caught his face in her hands making him look at her, a thought forming in her mind, desperate and unreasonable but it was there suddenly and she couldn't shake it. There had to be a way for them to stay together.

"Run away with me."

She knew the implications of what she was saying but her heart was killing her right now. She couldn't imagine being without him, not now, not ever again. He only smiled at her, slightly taking her trembling hands in his.

"You know we can't do that, Ali," he whispered sweetly, trying to sooth her. She let her hand slide from his face, defeated.

"What's going to happen to us?" she whispered back. "What if your father chooses to end our engagement? What if someone else makes an offer? Father says Bann Teagan has been asking after me far too much as of late." She was afraid. Terrified. Hopeless. "Nate, what if you change your mind? What if you fall in love with someone else...?" The tears were flowing in gentle streams down her cheeks. The thought alone was killing her.

"Never!" he answered harshly, grabbing her by the shoulders, slightly shaking.

"You hear me, Ali, never, not in a thousand years! I'll come back to you and then we'll get married and no one will come between us! I'll kill anyone who tries!"

She sniffed; she knew that he would be too far away to truly do anything about it. She closed her eyes, trying to reign herself back in.

"When are you leaving?" The words hurt leaving her mouth.

_Leaving. He's leaving. He's leaving me..._ She felt as if she was going to shatter like glass.

"Soon," he whispered. He soothingly reached a hand up and stroked her cheek.

"Promise me you wait," he beseeched her. "Promise me you'll be my wife when I come back."

Aleria knew that if someone else made an offer she would have little choice but she would fight to make sure that didn't happen. She loved him with everything she had, of course she would wait.

"I promise!" she swore into his lips as she kissed him again. "Promise me you'll write, that you'll think of me every day?"

They were being forced apart and she felt as if she was dying, clinging to her last breathes. Little whimpers escaped her lips as she buried her head in his chest.

"I promise. I'll write you whenever I can and I'll think of you every moment, awake or asleep." He brought her head up from his chest and kissed her; hungry, greedy and relentless. Almost as if he was committing every part of her to memory. She gasped and kissed him back in kind. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn't want to think about the future, just now, where she could be in his arms and he in hers. It was then a thought crossed her mind. Something she had been thinking of for a while. It just never seemed right until now. They needed it now more than ever.

"Nate," She whispered between kisses. "Make love to me." Her plea was soft, delicate and immersed with desire for him.

Those four little words were almost his undoing. He had been dreaming of her offering this to him. He imagined it so many times he lost count. In a matter of moments, he had pulled her into the shed where they had their first kiss. It seemed as fitting of a place as any for this to happen. His fingers frantically tore at the laces of her dress, his mouth never leaving hers. He was burning up and he knew she was, too. He growled in frustration when the fabric wouldn't do his bidding. Her sweet chuckle at his aggravation sent shivers down his spine. He loved her. Maker, he loved her so much. At some point, her hands had slipped under his shirt; her touch was driving him crazy.

They were so wrapped up in the feeling of each other and their emotions that neither of them heard the shed door creak open. Before he knew what was happening, Nate felt himself being jerked back by his collar and drug violently away from Ali. The next thing he knew, his jaw was hurting and he had the familiar copper taste of blood in his mouth.

"What do you think you are doing, you bastard?!"

He lifted his head up to where Fergus was hovering over him like a rage demon. He spit the blood in his mouth to the ground, trying to process what in the Maker's name was happening. He didn't have much time before Fergus' hand shot out and jerked him back up.

"You cradle-robbing son of a bitch! Keep your filthy hands off my sister! She's still only a child!"

Aleria clamored off the floor and ran to intervene.

"Fergus! Stop it!" she screamed at him, trying to pry his hands off of his best friend's collar. Without releasing Nate, Fergus' gaze slowly drifted to his sister. There was a rage burning in his eyes like never before. An ogre certainly would flee from that gaze.

"Go inside," he said, very calm and very controlled, allowing no protest. He was about to snap.

Nate watched as Aleria did not back down. He thought to himself how incredibly brave his future wife was… foolhardy… but brave nonetheless.

"I am not a child you can order around, Fergus! I'm seventeen years old! I am a grown woman and for your information, I asked him for this!"

Nate shook his head at her. That was the wrong answer.

"A grown woman, my ass," her big brother spat. "Just sporting breasts doesn't make you a woman! And I don't care if you asked him or not! No true gentleman would have touched you! Now get out of my sight before I do something I'll regret!"

Nate could see Aleria's fury rising to meet Fergus'. This was about to get ugly. The Cousland siblings were both known for their bouts of temper. He just wished Aleria knew when enough was enough.

"You are _not_ going to speak to me like that, Fergus Cousland!" She shoved him hard, knocking him off balance. "You're one to talk about being a gentleman, you and Oriana were sneaking around long before you were even betrothed! And I'm not stupid... I know what she was shouting in Orlesian. Let's see it was, 'Oh Fergus, oui juste là," and some other things I dare not repeat."

Nate didn't move. He knew better than to rile Fergus even more. Also, he didn't want to fight the other man. One, because he was Ali's brother and his best friend and two, he was right. He should have known better than to let himself be driven by want and despair. They were not yet married. He had no right to do what he almost did. Aleria's accusations didn't help the cause either. He could see the vein on Fergus' neck pulsing violently. Without thinking, Nate twisted the arm that was holding him and drove his fist into Fergus' face, rendering him unconscious. He cursed when the man hit the floor with a low thud.

"That was not very wise, Ali," he chided her gently. "You know not to rile him when he's like that."

Aleria's jaw dropped as she slid to her brother's side.

"He's going to be furious when he wakes up," she said before punching Fergus in the arm. "You deserved it, though, you stubborn ass!"

She patted Fergus's face affectionately, then rose up to look at Nathaniel.

"I'm sorry, this is entirely my fault," she said as she lifted her hand to run her fingers over his swollen lip. "This was supposed to be a wonderful moment, a perfect way to say goodbye. I'm so sorry."

She caressed his face.

Nate sucked in a hiss at her touch.

"It was but Fergus was right. I should've controlled myself. It was wrong."

She shook her head at him vehemently.

"No. It wasn't. I love you, Nathaniel, I wanted to show you how much..." she said sadly.

Nathaniel looked at her intently.

"Bedding someone is not..." he interrupted himself. He had almost told her that it was just sex. For most people it was. Her comment was a perfect example that Fergus was oh-so-right. She was still naive and pampered, knowing little of the world, because he knew, for her, sleeping with him _was_ a proof of her love.

"It's not the only way to show me you love me," he began again. "I don't need it to know your feelings. It does not mean that I don't want you, Maker knows I do, but it's more of a bonus."

He sighed and shook his head. It sounded strange but he meant it. He loved her no less because she did not sleep with him.

"Oh," she said, embarrassment evident on her blushing cheeks. She looked as if she was going to cry. He reached out and stroked her cheek. He felt miserable and sorry for... everything.

"Hey, don't be sad. It's ok. Maybe it was good for something. And you should do now as your brother said and go inside. I knocked him out for a reason, you know? He won't be too pleased with me when he wakes but at least you're alright."

She looks up at him with tearful, pleading eyes.

"Please don't make me go. I'm worried for you. I'll apologize… I'll…"

He interrupts her, grabbing her hands in his.

"Please understand, Ali, this is something I have to work out with Fergus alone. I don't want to leave Highever on bad terms with either of you. And this is... it's a man-thing you know? I'd rather spend my time with you, but... this is difficult. Please accept it, will you?"

She nodded slightly, defeated and embarrassed, with worry evident on her creased forehead. She turned without saying a word and headed for the door. Nate called after her.

"I love you. You know that, don't you?" his voice held her back one last time. He sounded apologetic, insecure and pleading.

She nodded and half smiled at him. "I love you, too."

It was hours later and Nate was drunk. He and Fergus had far too much fun rekindling their friendship after the blow up over Aleria. A few choice curses were thrown as well as a couple more punches but by the end they had come to an understanding. That understanding led to stiff drinks and other displays of manhood which included seeing who was the better archer while being three sheets to the wind. It was late when Oriana had come to look for Fergus and she was none too happy to have to escort him back to their room. She giggled and swatted at his drunken advances, which made Nate smile as he watched on. The sight of them made him heartsick to see Aleria, made him long to go to her and sweep her off her feet with a resounding declaration of love and affection.

Walking around the castle, drunk and aimless, he just so happened to find the window to her room and in a stroke of what he thought was genius he began chunking little pebbles at the stained glass, growling in frustration when he noticed not a single one was hitting its mark. Out of desperation, he began throwing handfuls at a time, knowing at least this way there was a better chance of hitting his target. His perseverance was rewarded when he saw the window creak open to reveal his very own sleeping beauty.

"What in the void is going on here? Who's there?" She hissed from the window. She had obviously just woken up. Her hair was in a disheveled loose braid with little unwilling strands set free around her nearly bare shoulders. She looked stunning.

"My lady, join me for a walk in the moonlight!" He spoke a little louder than he intended.

"Shh…Maker, Nate are you nuts? What are you thinking? If anyone sees you here!"

Her face was bewildered and suddenly filled with concern.

"Then end my misery and join me down here! We are young and so is the night!" he shouted, the rational part of him was somewhere in the bottom of an empty glass and all he cared about was seeing her, touching her, kissing her. Aleria frowned down at him and pursed her lips in disapproval.

"Maker's breath, be quiet, Nate! What exactly have you and my brother been doing all evening?" she hissed, suspicion clear in her voice. Nathaniel began getting frustrated with her questions and concerns.

"Woman, stop questioning me and get down here before I climb up and get you," he threatened in mock seriousness. Her window was about fifteen to twenty feet in the air and He didn't know if it was the whiskey or the woman but he felt invincible at the moment and believed that he could truly scale the wall if it came to it...

Aleria shook her head and disappeared back inside her room. It was not five minutes before he saw her sneaking around the corner of the castle where he had been waiting in the shadows. As she passed him by, he jumped out, wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing the exposed part of her delicate neck. She drew her shoulder up in mock defense and stifled a giggle. He placed a finger to her lips and nearly drug her to their first destination, the stables. He already had her new black stallion saddled and ready to ride. She gave him a curious look as he offered her a leg up.

"Nathaniel, you are swaying on your feet. How in the world do you expect to lead a horse? You're going to get both of us killed," she tried to reason with him but reason was far beyond his grasp. All he saw were her pretty lips, pursed in annoyance. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

"My lady, drunk or no, I can deal with any stubborn thing that comes my way," he grinned hungrily at her like a wolf about to devour its prey as he grabbed a handful of her backside. She gasped, trying to keep the smile from her face. She then decided it best to strike a deal with him. If he would give her directions she would lead. He reluctantly conceded to her wishes but only because it gave him an excuse to hold her the entire way.

Before long they had reached their destination. Ali knew the place well. White Sands, the beach along the coast of Highever. She and Fergus would spend nearly every summer day here when they were younger. She had never been there at night, though and it was truly a sight to behold. The sand almost glowed in the moonlight; the water was the most beautiful color, so deep sapphire that it was almost black and when the waves crashed upon the shore they sparkled with reflections of silver moonbeams. It was completely magical. She was so lost in the beauty of it that she did not notice Nathaniel's hand waiting patiently to help her dismount. He had a sweet but sad smile plastered on his face. Alcohol did the strangest things to men, but she had to say at this point and time she was glad for it. He seemed so relaxed, compared to his usual stoic façade.

"I want to show you something," he said gently. "Take off your shoes."

Aleria complied without a word, wondering what in the world he was up to. He took her hand and led her to the shoreline where the waves were crashing against their bare feet. The stars were bright and reflected in the calmer parts of the water, it looked as if the heavens had met the earth and they were caught in the beauty of it all. Nathaniel's voice called her out of her admiration after a while.

He took her hand and pulled her out into the water only about ankle deep. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders and resting his head next to hers he whispers,

"The Waking Sea touches both the shores of Highever and the shores of the Free Marches..." he began. He was feeling far more sentimental than he had ever felt. "When you're lonely, when you're sad, when you miss me, come here."

He wrapped her up tightly in his arms.

"I will be sending you my love on the waves."

He kisses her cheek gently and she felt as if she was melting. Her heart was breaking and bursting at the same time as tears threatened the corners of her eyes. A gentle breeze danced across the water making her hair flutter across her face. He smiled and tucked it behind her ear.

"When the wind blows your hair back, that's because I want to see your beautiful face, when the waves lap at your skin imagine that's my touch." He gently drug his fingertips down her arms and intertwined them with hers, taking a deep breath.

"And when the current pulls at you, it's because I'm trying desperately to bring you closer to me."

He wrapped himself around her tightly letting his lips trail her neck as gentle as a breath.

Hot tears began streaming down Aleria's cheeks and she pulled herself closer to him.

"Nate…"

She could barely breathe and a small sob escaped her. Her heart was aching. She never wanted to let him go. If only this moment would last forever, just the both of them, right here, holding each other with only the sea as their witness.

He sighed into her hair and stroked her back tenderly.

"I didn't mean to make you cry love… I just wanted to give you some solace. You said before you wanted our time together to be special… well, here it is…"

She looked up at him and quickly covered his mouth with hers, kissing him long and deep.

"And it is," she whispered, taking a breath. "I'll come here every day when you're gone and I'll think of you. And... when you close your eyes and listen to the sound of the ocean you'll know that's me telling you I love you. Maker, I love you so much, Nathaniel."

He kissed her back in kind. He didn't want her to be sad anymore, so he pulled away from her abruptly having an idea.

"Alright, no more tears... the second reason I brought you here is to have a little fun."

He took a couple of steps towards the shore and in one swift movement pulled his shirt over his head, tossing the garment on the sand. He then ran by her and kissed her quickly before diving head first into the silver-lined water.

He gasped as he came up for air, pushing his hair back from his face. The water was cold but not uncomfortable and was sobering him up slightly. He smirked at her mischievously and curled his finger in a come hither motion.

She laughed through the tears and wiped her eyes.

"You're crazy, Nathaniel Howe, do you know that?"

"Drunk, love, not crazy. Now get your cute self in here before I come up there and drag you in..." he mockingly threatened.

She raised an eyebrow at him, taking a step back.

"Then come and get me," she dared him. "I bet I'm faster."

Nathaniel growled and ducked under the water. Once he reached a spot where he could stand he ran after her. He chased after her in full sprint barley reaching her shirt, using it to slam her body to his.

"You, my dear, are in for it."

He threw her over his shoulder like one would a bale of hay or a satchel and headed for the water.

She giggled, playfully slapping at his backside while her legs floundered in the air.

"Not fair! Set me down, you... you...Ugh!"

"Oh... I'll set you down alright."

He flipped her over in his arms, holding her bridal style. "But I'll be a gentleman and give you a choice...You can either go in clothes off or clothes on..."

He grinned mischievously at her.

She looked up at him from under her lashes, licking her lips. She was suddenly very aware of his naked, wet chest. His warmth seeped into her and his arms safely cradling her made her feel all hot and squirmy. She ran a hand over the buttons on her shirt suggestively while she let the fingers of her other glide over his breastbone in a butterfly touch.

"Well, I certainly know which option you'd prefer, my lord."

She was surprised by the seductive quality of her own voice. It sounded deeper than usual, raspy and soft at the same time.

Nathaniel nearly choked. He was only kidding... but now… Maker, all he wanted was for her to take him up on his offer. His eyes followed the trail her hands made. It made his flesh sizzle.

"You would be entirely right, my lady."

He let one of his hands gently put her down in the water as he reached up with the other, drawing his wet knuckles down the front of her.

"You know you are teasing a man who's not in his usual state of mind, right?" he whispered as he popped open the top button of her shirt.

She drug her nails down his chest, biting her lip. His warmth in front of her, the cool of the water all around, the breeze kissing her skin… it was intoxicating and she wanted nothing more than him, right here, right now.

"I do," she whispered. "It doesn't make me want you less, though."

Nathaniel shook his head, his resolve was long gone but a nagging voice in the back of his head was annoying the hell out of him. He told it to shut up.

"You know the consequences of your actions then?" his voice was a deep rumble as he popped open another button, his eyes glazing over with passion.

She nodded. She was a little nervous but she wanted this. She wanted him.

"Make me yours. We don't need our parent's permission. Let this be our wedding night. Make me your wife."

Nate shook his head again. He must be dreaming... he was sober enough by now that her words slammed into him like a bucket of cold water.

"Ali… I… Maker in heaven, I want you... but this... Do you want your first time to be on a sandy beach with a half drunk man who's leaving soon?"

That damned nagging voice was back.

"You are the love of my life, Nathaniel Howe. I don't care where and I don't care how. All I care for is you. Drunk, sober, insane, I really don't care. I want you. Badly," she whispered desperately.

That was it. The last straw that finally broke in him. To hear her say the words was more than he could take. He grabbed her face and inhaled her deeply as he kissed her. It was frantic and powerful. He was done playing; instead of unbuttoning the last couple of buttons on her shirt he simple tore the garment off of her in one quick movement.

She gave a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, hands clawing at his shoulders, mouth and tongue ravaging him. The water splashed about them as she all but jumped at him, wrapping her legs around his waist. The feel of skin on skin was marvelous, delicious, breathtaking.

She clung to him desperately, craving his touch. In between kisses she whispered to him,

"The ocean be my witness that tonight I take thee as my husband. I will always love you and I will take care of you and I will wait until you come back to me."

She was breathless and teary eyed. Her words nearly took his breath away but it was only a moment before he responded in kind.

"As the ocean as my witness..." he said between kisses. "I take thee as my wife..." He kissed her deeply smiling broadly against her lips. "I will always love and care for you... and I will come back to you."

He pressed his body fully into hers and made his way up to the sandy shore where he laid her down gently...


End file.
